Rudy Giuliani, the thrice-married serial adulterer who supported abortion rights, gay rights, gun control, and a liberal immigration policy, can't possibly win the GOP nomination. Neither can Mitt Romney, who's flip-flopped on practically every issue under the sun, whose religious faith is a regrettable deal-breaker for many Republican voters, and whose support in the polls is fading fast. John McCain certainly can't be the nominee, given that the party's base doesn't trust him (he was, after all, open to joining John Kerry's Democratic ticket just three years ago).

Mike Huckabee has no money, knows nothing about foreign policy, and is far to the right of the country on almost everything. Fred Thompson apparently isn't willing to work very hard for the nomination, and his own supporters fear his heart just isn't in the race. Ron Paul is far from the GOP mainstream, and is probably better suited for another independent run. Tom Tancredo and Duncan Hunter are just spinning their wheels.

Given this, Ross Douthat makes a compelling case that no one can win the Republican nomination.

So the latest polls have Mike Huckabee up an implausible nineteen points in Iowa and four points nationally. But he can't win, right? I mean, he's vulnerable on practically every non-social issue, he has a variety of skeletons in his closet, his policy team seems more or less nonexistent, he still doesn't have any money, and he has most of the GOP establishment united against him. He doesn't have a prayer -- or maybe that's all he has.

Except, of course, that none of his rivals can win either. If you look at the field, every candidate seems to have near-disqualifying weaknesses ... which helps explain why nobody seems capable of getting above 30-35 percent in any national or state-level poll. [...]

[I]deologically-speaking, none of the Republican contenders make nearly as much sense as candidates for the nomination of the present-day GOP as Obama, Clinton and Edwards do as candidates for the nomination of the present-day Democratic Party.

Now, some of Ross' points are more persuasive than others, but his broader point -- none of these guys can win -- sounds about right.

Of course, logically, that means one of two things is going to happen -- 1) one of the current far-from-ideal candidates will eventually emerge, battered and bruised; or 2) some other candidate who isn't running will somehow swoop in and get the nomination, which would be more likely in the event of a highly-improbable-but-incredibly-entertaining brokered convention.

Jeb? Cheney? Newt? A party turns its lonely eyes to you.