Your Nominees for the 2008 Golden Duke Awards!

TPM is pleased to announce that we will be giving away our Second Annual Golden Dukes to recognize great accomplishments in muckiness including acts of venal corruption, outstanding self-inflicted losses of dignity, crimes against the republic, bribery, exposed hypocrisy and generally malevolent governance.

The awards are named in honor of Congressman-turned-inmate Randy "Duke" Cunningham. It's been a heady few years for Muckraking, what with the trial of Ted Stevens, the election season dirt, and so much more. But here at TPM we still believe that Duke is the iconic modern scandal. Few so well combine outlandish corruption, national security, sex, and sheer cartoonish ridiculousness.

The Nominees

We'll be giving away awards in six categories:

Sleaziest Campaign Ad

Elizabeth Dole for her campaign ad accusing opponent Kay Hagan of consorting with atheists in secret back room fundraisers.

John McCain for his campaign ad painting Obama as a pedophile who wanted kids to learn about sex before they learn how to read.

Sam Gravesfor his "San Francisco Values" ad, attacking Kay Barnes.

Saxby Chambliss for his ad painting rival Jim Martin as an appeaser of child molesters.

Virgil Goode for his campaign advertisement portraying opponent Tom Perriello as a dark, sinister "New York Lawyer" behind virtual prison bars.

Best Election Season Fib

Hillary Clinton for her "misspeak" regarding the sniper fire in Bosnia, 1996.

John McCain for stating, on September 15th (and many other dates) that "The fundamentals of our economy are strong."

Mitt Romney for his concession speech bow-out: I'm leaving so the terrorists won't win!

Sarah Palin and the Bridge to Nowhere for simply, stubbornly repeating a fib weeks after it had been proven demonstrably false, and simply refusing to acknowledge not only the existence of fact-checkers, but their efficiency in the internet age.

Sarah Palin for.. her entire campaign trail performance! The five contradictory Troopergate explanations, seeing Russia from her house, lying about her medical disclosure forms. Nixon would be in awe

Outstanding Achievement in Corruption-based Chutzpah

Vito Fossella for possessing the stupidity and chutzpah to have his mistress-- and mother of his love child-- pick him up from the station after his DUI arrest.

Edward Nottingham for classic hypocrisy and misconduct from a federal judge.

Rod Blagojevich for attempting to sell a U.S. Senate seat for cold hard cash, and for managing to sound as dirty mouthed as Tony Soprano while doing it: "They're not willing to give me anything except appreciation. Fuck them."

Sarah Palin for her attempt to get a law enforcement officer (and ex-husband-in-saw) fired on personal grounds and then lying about it.

Ted Stevens. Because the man got his trial verdict, claimed he was not convicted of anything, and then ran for re-election to the Senate ANYWAY.

Best Scandal -- Sex and Generalized Carnality

Eliot Spitzer for extensive sexual relations with a prostitute wearing knee-length black socks.

Gregory Smith for bringing the sex & drugs party to the Interior Department's oil and gas royalties division.

Jim Gibbons for unsated gubernatorial lust, and excessive and unwanted text messaging while in office.

John Edwards because he carried on an affair, while running for President, when his wife had cancer.

Mike Carona for carrying on an affair with his secretary, in the sheriff's office and also in a car.

Tim Mahoney for cheating on his wife with both a local county official and one of his staffers.

Best Scandal -- Local Venue

Kansas City Mayor Mark Funkhouser and wife, Gloria Squitiro for completely inappropriate spousal accompaniment to the office, and for spousal use of the word "Mammy" in a derogatory and offensive context.

Kwame Kilpatrick for sexually explicit texts exchanged with his Chief of Staff, and staying in office for months after the scandal broke.

Bill Sizemore for lying on federal tax statements, accepting laundered money through a sham non-profit, and lying under oath.

Diane Wilkerson for getting caught by the feds with hundreds of dollars stuffed into her bra.

Steven Lipski for public urination onto a crowd at a Grateful Dead show.

Best Scandal -- General Interest

George W. Bush for ineffectually overseeing a global financial disaster that will take years to recover from.

Sarah Palin for talking about embodying traditional conservative values while being embroiled in a law-suit about firing her sister's ex-husband, having an unmarried pregnant teenage daughter, accepting thousands of dollars in designer clothes, lying to the press, and so much more.

Ted Stevens for almost winning his post-trial Senate Race! Convicted on seven corruption counts, and he almost won. Not only that -- if he had won, he would have opened the door for Senator Palin.

Rod Blagojevich for sheer chutzpah, complete vulgarity, and for the saving grace that he acknowledged that Obama wasn't involved.

Kwame Kilpatrick for tremendous chutzpah, sexually based text messages-- and because this now jailed former mayor could be nominated in nearly every category.

It's in the judges' hands now. The winners in all six categories will be announced on December 31, 2007.

In case you missed it, check out this episode of TPMtv in which Josh Marshall explains the choice of nominees:

The Judges

We're happy to have a very distinguished panel of expert judges to sort through your nominations and choose the ultimate winners. They are:

Spencer Ackerman TPM alum, blogger extraordinaire and frequent guest on blogging heads.

Susie Bright, author, sexologist, analyst of erotic endeavors

John Dean, former Nixon White House Counsel, author, critic, columnist, muckster-turned-muckraker

Hendrik Hertzberg, essayist, political reporter, general TPM hero

Paul Kiel former TPMmuckraker and investigative reporter

Dahlia Lithwick, law and legal affairs writer

The E-mails

Here are the e-mails that selected our lucky nominees:

From MG:

Elizabeth Dole: "Godless," Parts II. The perfect background noise for a sinking ship. At the 11th hour of a losing campaign, Liddy Dole desperately attempts to stoke the embers of the culture wars by accusing opponent Kay Hagan of consorting with atheists in secret back room fundraisers. A female voice (meant to be Hagan's) croaks piteously "there is no God!" at the end of the ad. And then--after throwing red meat to a base that isn't hungry, after Hagan's response ad accusing Dole of "bearing false witness against a fellow Christian," after Hagan's campaign actually sues her for defamation, Dole actually puts out a second ad.

From reader MG:

McCain's camp distorts Obama's support of a bill meant to teach young children to avoid molestation, to accuse Obama of wanting kids "Learning about sex before learning how to read," the shots of Obama all darkened up (he's black, get it?) and lookin' down and crossways with a little smile on his face that makes him seem like a sleazy porn distributor.

From reader SR:

Sam Graves The terrible electronic music, the awkward dancing. What's not to love about this commercial? ... And the dancers are down-right offensive.

From reader NI:

I'm going with Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss painting rival Jim Martin -- whose daughter was once kidnapped -- as an appeaser of child molesters. A worthy sequel to his work depicting Vietnam War vet Max Cleland as soft on terror in 2002. How proud Georgians must be to have elected him twice. Can we approve the state's secession now?

From reader RB:

I would like to nominate Virgil Goode for Sleaziest Ad Campaign. He portrays his opponent Tom Perriello has a dark, sinister figure behind virtual prison bars. The voice over mentions that Perriello is a "New York lawyer" and supports immigration reform.

In this link to a Young Turks video, Cenk Uygur says this was called the "Muslimization" of Tom Perriello.

From reader DS:

Hillary Clinton climbs off a plane in Bosnia under heavy fire and wipes out a machine gun nest filled with terrorists with her bare hands. Hyperbole, sure..but that's my nomination.

From reader JL:

John McCain's quote:"Our economy, I think, still -- the fundamentals of our economy are strong."

From reader DH:

Mitt Romney, in dropping out of the race to be the Republican Party's presidential nominee, saying that he was bowing out because "I cannot let my campaign be a part of aiding a surrender to terror" because, of course, the continuation of his principled, rock-solid-values campaign only could weaken Sen. McCain as he prepared to face Al Qaeda's candidate --the Democratic Party nominee -- in the fall.

From reader JM:

Sarah Palin. Reason: The Bridge to Nowhere. A terrific exercise in simply, stubbornly, repeating a fib weeks after it's been proven demonstrably false, and especially when it's about an accomplishment that no one except John McCain thinks is a big deal. Simply refusing to acknowledge not only the existence of fact-checkers, but their efficiency in the internet age.

From reader NI:

Sarah Palin Reason: Which Sarah Palin comment is most worthy? The ... contradictory Troopergate explanations? "I read all of them" in regards to the question of what newspapers influence her thinking? That she'd give back the RNC-bought wardrobe? Release her medical records? See Russia from her house? That Barack Obama "pals around" with terrorists? Nixon would be in awe of this woman.

From reader JW:

Vito Fossella: Members of Congress do stupid things all the time, and some of them are truly morons. But having your mistress -- mother of your love child -- pick you up at the police station after a DUI arrest?

From reader KT:

Chief U.S. District Court Judge Edward ("Naughty") Nottingham of Denver: It has the classic elements of a good sex scandal and more with high local interest: a federal judge lecturing high profile defendants such as former Qwest CEO Joe Nacchio on their misconduct and transgressions, while he is meanwhile blowing thousands of dollars on visits to strip clubs and patronizing high priced prostitutes. Then there was the bizarre allegation that he threatened and intimidated a wheelchair-bound woman after illegally parking in a handicapped spot. He weathered the storm for months until the allegation that he got together with one of the prostitutes to concoct a lie for him was apparently just too much and he resigned this year to protect the "public interest."

From reader MK:

Rod Blagojevich: It almost goes without saying that he should be nominated and win. But what really distinguishes Blagojevich is how he's going to ruin this category for generations of corrupt politicians to come. Ninety grand in the freezer? That looks positively pedestrian next to trying to extort one of the richest men in the world and the president-elect of the United States. The man was planning this on landlines when he had to have known he was being tapped. It's not just an outstanding achievement in chutzpah; Blagojevich has completely redefined chutzpah. No one can hope to compare. Years later, we're going to have some Senate committee chairman explicitly selling legislation for cold hard cash and we'll scoff and say "Yeah, but he's no *Blagojevich*, that's for sure."

It calls to mind a scene from The Dark Knight with Morgan Freeman. Some accountant has figured out Bruce Wayne is Batman and wants money to stay quiet. Freeman tells him: "Let me get this straight: You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands. And your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck."

Good luck, Governor. Good luck.

From reader DS:

Sarah Palin: Not only did Palin try to get a law enforcement officer fired related to personal reasons (divorcing her sister), she also had an independent commission's finding in the case tossed for a more favorable opinion from a body made up of her supporters.

Throughout the proceedings she promised to cooperate but did not. After the presidential election she promised to make all depositions public but did not. She continues to give interviews and parade around as the heir-apparent to the GOP hierarchy while pretending the whole mess never happened.

From reader MB:

Ted Stevens: The biggest chutzpah was Ted's statement AFTER the verdict in his trial "I have not been convicted of anything" and then proceeds to run for re-election for Senate. Most normal people would retreat from the limelight in shame, but not Ted.

That is either some world class chutzpah or the onset of Alzheimer's. Based on how rigorous Ted fought for re-election, I don't think it was a medical condition.

From reader DS:

Look, I do not care that Eliot Spitzer vistited a prostitute while running on a platform of ethics. What worries me is the fact that he wore his knee-length black socks while doing the dirty deed. Now I'm a man, and I'm sure that I have had sex with my socks on. But long, black, dress socks and nothing else? That's just weird, and gets my nomination for the Best Scandal Sex and Carnality award.

From reader NC:

I nominate Gregory W. Smith, former director of the Interior Department's oil & gas royalties division. According to Charlie Savage, who broke the story:

The [Inspector General's] report accused Mr. Smith of improperly accepting gifts from the oil and gas industry, of engaging in sex with two subordinates and of using cocaine that he purchased from his secretary or her boyfriend several times a year between 2002 and 2005. He sometimes asked for the drugs and received them in his office during work hours, the report said.

The report also said that Mr. Smith lied to investigators about these and other incidents, and that he urged the two women subordinates to mislead the investigators as well.

In discussions with investigators, the report said, Mr. Smith acknowledged buying cocaine from his secretary and having a sexual encounter with her at her home, but he denied discussing drugs at work. He also denied telling anyone to lie, saying that he only told people that "no one has a right to know what I do on my personal time."

So we've got sex, drugs, sex & drugs, ordering subordinates to buy drugs, and ordering subordinates not to comply with an IG's investigation of the previous events on privacy grounds.

From reader GB:

Nevada Governor and Lonely Heart Jim Gibbons. Now, you're probably getting ready to rule him ineligible because you think he's being nominated for his celebrated 2006 alleged drunken assault of a woman in a Las Vegas parking garage, but thats only related to this nomination by his infamous remark to the woman "Married life isn't all its cracked up to be." He made good on that remark in 2008 by filing for divorce of his wife and trying to have her removed from the Governor's mansion.

But that was only the set-up. After his spokesman denied, on the record, that the Gov was having an affair, it was disclosed that during the months of March & April he had text-messaged a woman not his wife over 800 times, using his state-issued cell-phone.

...

Since its a carnal scandal category, seems like a bribe offer should be part of the nomination. If you pick Gibbons (over admittedly stiff competition in this category) I'll send you a "Love Gov" t-shirt.

From reader JC:

Mr. Edwards deserves the award because his conduct caused him to forfeit the respect that he had garnered by a progressive primary campaign and to lose any chance at future political office by election or appointment. His conduct was especially egregious because The Enquirer found him cowering under a bathroom sink and because he had continued the affair after he learned that his wife had cancer, which puts him almost as low as Newt Gringich or John McCain in terms of acting decently to an ill or ailing spouse. Although it's a close call, I think his utter lack of class gives him the nod over Spitzer for the award, because at least Mr. Spitzer went to a classy-looking hooker.

From reader RC:

Last year I nominated former Orange County, Calif., Sheriff Mike Carona for a Golden Duke for best local scandal. Alas the competition in that category was particularly strong, and America's Sheriff lost.

This year I am happy to re-nominate Mike Carona, this time in the "Best Scandal - Sex and Generalized Carnality" category. If you accept supporting actor nominations, you should surely recognize Carona's former assistant and "brother," George Jaramillo.

Carona is currently on trial on federal corruption charges. Deborah Hoffman, identified in the indictment as Carona's longtime mistress, recently was granted a motion for a separate trial. In testimony this week, Jaramillo's former secretary, Sandy Trujillo, testified that she had an affair with Carona for about 1-1/2 years; they had sex in the sheriff's office and in a car. (Carona and Hoffman had a low-rent "love nest" a couple of miles from the sheriff's HQ. Carona advised Trujillo not to tell Hoffman about their affair as Hoffman was a bit possessive.) At Carona's urging, Trujillo did not file a sexual harassment complaint against Jaramillo, who had showed her nude photos of his many girlfriends in an effort to persuade her to get horizontal with him.

Here is one of many, many excerpts from The Orange County Register's coverage of this lovely, lovely trial.

From reader MI:

I like outgoing Florida Representative Mahoney's very busy work cheating on his wife with both a local county official and one of his staffers. His attempts to stalk and harass the staffer before firing her make Mahoney a worthy successor to the man he succeeded - Mark Foley.

From reader PG:

Funkhouser ran for mayor as an "independent, non-politician" but neglected to tell the public that if elected he would be bring his wife with him as a "volunteer."

Ms. Squitiro's use of smudge sticks to clear the office of the evil left by the previous administration has apparently failed as she, her husband and the city have been sued by a former employee who alleges pay inequality, the use of sexual language in the office by Squtiro, as well as having been referred to on numerous occasions by Squitiro as "Mammy." The official announcement concerning "mammy" from the actual mayor was that it was his wife's habit to add the " ie " sound to the end of words such as Ma'am as a term of endearment. No explanation of why another employee was called "Bernie Mac" numerous times.

After the suit was brought, the City Council passed an ordinance over the Mayo's veto, to limit the role of family members in city offices. The mayor promptly sued the Council and has apparently decided to work primarily out of his home rather than the office so his wife may continue to work with him. On a serious note, depositions in the lawsuit have brought forth information that has caused the Council to initiate an ethics investigation of the mayor for ignoring Sunshine law requests and for improperly using city staff and work product for both personal business and in promoting an election issue the mayor favored.

Recently the plaintiff in the suit upped the amount asked for because of defamatory language by the Mayor in a press release announcing the settlement of his individual portion of the suit.

Last year's widely publicized family holiday letter written by Squitiro described the Mayor's recent prostate exam. I don't think this years' could be any more embarrassing in light of recent events.

This is really a "local" story, but even as a Nebraskan, it has made me checking the Kansas City Star daily, sometime after checking in with TPM.

From reader MW:

It is impossible to top Kwame Kilpatrick, former Mayor of Detroit. I know TPM followed this story for a bit so you must remember the lying under oath (which he is currently serving time in prison for), paying off Detroit police officers to keep their mouths shut and (of course) text messaging sexually explicit things to his Chief of Staff who he was carrying on a torrid affair with. Seriously, I started reading some of the text messages linked to the freep.com website and stopped at about the tenth one because I was scared I'd get fired for accessing pornography if my boss clicked on the link. Larry Craig at the airport, Ted Haggard and his meth dealer/whore DO NOT top Kwame if only for the sheer unmitigated gall of staying in office for months after the scandal broke and acting like HE was the victim and not the citizens of Detroit.

From reader JA:

Bill Sizemore from Oregon Reason: Let's review: Sizemore's troubles go back to 2000, when he was found guilty of forging signatures on two anti-union ballot initiatives. For this, he was fined $2.5 million, a sum he has never paid. Over the years, Sizemore has managed to weasel out of paying the fine, all the while clogging the ballot with more doomed, half-baked measures. Along the way, he was cited for contempt of court three times.

He should be awarded for the Golden Duke for his activities this year, however. In putting five more measures on the 2008 ballot, Sizemore accepted laundered money through a sham non-profit that paid him $855,000.

[...]

He was thereafter cited for contempt of court (for the fourth time--nice work, Bill!) and jailed. The presiding judge, Janice Wilson, said in her ruling:

"Together with Mr. Sizemore's willingness to lie under oath, they reflect not merely contempt of court in the legal sense, but contempt for the court, the judicial branch of government and its processes and judgments -- indeed for the rule of law. Mr. Sizemore is so blinded by his hatred of the unions who are plaintiffs in this case that he seems to have concluded that he is not required to follow the law."

How did Sizemore respond? By lying on the tax statements he was required to sign to get out of the pokey:

In the federal tax forms he signed Tuesday in order to get out of jail, Bill Sizemore answered "no" to a question about whether a tax-exempt Nevada foundation that he controls had attempted to influence "a legislative matter or referendum." In the same forms for 2006 and 2007, Sizemore also answered "no" to a question about whether any officers or directors of the foundation were related to one another. Both answers were false.

We're sort of used to Sizemore's two-bit graft, but we sell him short. This is really big-league stuff. He deserves a little national credit, so here's one vote for a Golden Duke.

From reader KP:

Diane Wilkerson: Ex-state senator from Massachusetts. She was caught by the feds stuffing a $1000 bribe into her bra. Total bribe amount we know about: $23,500. Reason: she was trying to help a nightclub get a liquor license. Also implicated is Boston City Councilor Chuck Turner, $1000 bribe, also caught on tape, and possesses a truly outrageous goatee.

From reader HH:

Jersey City Councilman Steven Lipski. He peed on the crowd at a Washington, D.C. Grateful Dead cover band show.

He was arrested and later explained that he was a recovering alcoholic who had fallen off the wagon.

If the guy is really struggling with his inner demons, that's one thing. But that does not mean that the minimum standard of civility for our public officials shouldn't include refraining from urinating on other people (at least not without their permission.)

From reader JL:

I know that Bush received the Duke Awards last year in this category. But, I thought TPM can give this award to him since January 20th is his last day in office. He would at least have this award as part of his legacy. I nominate George W. Bush in this category because of his damage to our economic system in this country this year that has weakened us and the entire world. Examples are the choice of bailing out Wall Street first rather than Main Street, high numbers of unemployment and home foreclosures in states, allowing the corporate CEOs to become panhandlers for handouts of taxpayers' money, allowing an inexperienced ex-CEO and current Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson to oversee TARP with no accountability of where the money is going, and creating a global financial disaster that will take years to recover.

From reader DS:

Sarah Palin: Hi. I'm a plain talkin' hockey mom from Alaska with traditional conservative values. I am embroiled in a lawsuit because I fired a guy who wouldn't fire my sister's ex-husband. My unmarried teenage daughter is pregnant. I have accepted hundreds of thousands of dollars in designer clothing paid for by the campaign. I supported a huge pork project in my home state and then ran on the premise that I opposed it. I refused to give press conferences because Katie Couric and Charlie Gibson were mean to me then went on every television show that would have me after I lost the election. Oh, and I shoot wolves from helicopters and refuse to release my medical records and got punkd by Candian shock jocks. Baba Booey Baba Booey.

My name is Sarah Palin, and I am a nominee for the Best Scandal, General Interest in the Golden Duke awards.

From reader JW:

There's a lot you can say about Stevens -- about the shady dealings and multiple convictions, the Bridge to Nowhere and his stature in Congress, the series of tubes, his Incredible Hulk tie, and his claim during the campaign that he had "not been convicted of anything." But what makes him my top choice for Best Scandal, General Interest? He almost won! Convicted on seven corruption counts, and he almost won. Not only that -- if he had won, he would have opened the door for Senator Palin. (Cue the horror movie music!)

From reader JC:

Ted Stevens was way in front in this category. Although his scandal didn't involve a direct exchange of a bribe for a vote, he lost his Senate seat for not much more than an old chair. However, Rod's scandal has overtaken it for sheer chutzpah, complete vulgarity, and for the saving grace that he acknowledged that Obama wasn't involved. Rod for Duke!

From reader JC:

Now I feel he could be nominated in nearly every category, and that's why I think Kwame M. Kilpatrick -- now jailed former mayor of the great city of Detroit -- should be top nominee for the general interest category.

The story of Kilpatrick has it.

It starts with rumors of a party at the mayoral mansion where his wife is thought to of beaten a stripper, who, in the following months, ends up dead. Internal affairs at the police department starts looking at this, along with his use of bodyguards and Kilpatrick, and he has the chutzpah to simply fire them.

Those police officers sue the city, and Kilpatrick and his chief of staff both testify in the trial. They lose (and end up lying under oath).

Then the text messages surface, which go into great detail Kilpatrick's affair with his chief of staff.

He stays on, saying he would quit Detroit. The city was in turmoil for months. The governor had to come to town to start removal proceedings before he actually stepped away (I'm sure he thought Granholm would never do it).

So to recap:

The scandal has tremendous chutzpah, sexually based text messages and it was of local (then national when he was still going to the Dem convention).

Kwame M. Kilpatrick -- your general interest Duke winner.