I'm tired of writing about all this heavy stuff, so I though I'd try something lighter.  I'm one of those who gets forwarded e-mail political jokes.  I'm usually one among many recipients (most of whom are unknown to me) in the "To:" or "CC:" field.  Many come from my conservative friends.  Anyhow, it used to bug me a little bit that they seem to have more jokes along these lines than we Democrats/liberals do until I realized how easy it was to redirect many of them--at least the ones that were genuinely chuckle-worthy rather than just mean spirited.  Surprisingly, I have gotten amused responses from a few of the conservative recipients of these redirected jokes.  It's all in good fun.

I've found that rewriting them in any significant way doesn't work.  That just turns them into jokes that they won't find any funnier than I did.  I've settled on adding an "Reality-Based Ending" to the jokes and leaving the original untouched.  I guess brevity really is the soul of wit.  I hope this gets your Friday off to a good start.  Feel free to share this or any you might have.

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Left and Right

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut.   After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week"

The florist is pleased and leaves the shop.   Next morning when the barber goes to open there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week."

The cop is happy and leaves the shop.   Next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later a Republican comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week."

The Republican is very happy and leaves the shop.  Next morning when the barber goes to open, there is a thank you card and a dozen different books such as "How to Improve Your Business" and "Becoming More Successful."

Then a Democrat comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week."

The Democrat is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Democrats lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between left and right.
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[Reality-Based Ending]

The Republican is happy and leaves the shop.  He goes home and invests the money he saved from the haircut in a chain of low-paying MacBarbershops (that enjoys generous GOP-sponsored corporate tax-breaks) that eventually runs the local, community-minded barber out of business.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between left and right.