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Silly Season


Things sure do have a way of coming full circle, don't they?  A few weeks ago, I, fake Sinbad, pleaded with the staff of TPM to do a story about my trip to Bosnia with Hillary and Sheryl Crow.  Admittedly, I exaggerated the effects of our efforts, claiming to have "solved the refugee crisis in Kosovo."  Well, sue me.  I misspoke.

Unfortunately for TPM, they did not heed Sinbad's advice.  The Washington Post, no fools they, picked up on what they sensed would be a groundbreaking story and contacted Sinbad independently.  Recently, the mainstream media has jumped in on the fun, and have spent the last few days pillaging their march/1996/bosnia video vaults, showing the world the Truth with a capital T.  Meanwhile TPM stood idly by, watching passively as the media - in their eyes nothing more than a sophomoric mob - clamored to give the America people what they truly wanted, what they truly deserved - a Sinbad story.  But not TPM.  No, they were too cool for school.  Too cool for Sinbad.

As if such words could possibly be strung together.  Too cool for Sinbad.  It doesn't even make sense.  Not a lick.  Gibberish for all I care.

But then an amazing thing happened.  Sinbad contacted TPM.  THE Sinbad.

So the question now before us is not, "will we eat here or at the next place?" (by the way, real Sinbad - great line!).  No, the question becomes: what will TPM do?  Will they coordinate and film and loose upon the American public an exclusive interview with Sinbad?  Real Sinbad, in all his real glory?

Surely something must be in the works.  Perhaps Sinbad has agreed to an interview if TPM first pays a $10 cover and promises to buy 2 drinks and bring a few friends.  We've all been there.  We feel you, Sinbad.

Well, it's time to do something more than just feel Sinbad, TPM.  It's time to turn that feeling into action - time to reach out, and give Sinbad some love.

Sinbad needs your love.  Fake Sinbad can't put it any more sincerely than that.  America wants this to happen.  America has wanted this happen since Sinbad's first role as Byron Lightfoot on "The Redd Foxx Show."

It's time to move past the divisions of this primary season.  It's time for real Sinbad and fake Sinbad to come together.  It's time to feel good to be an American again.

E Pluribusinbad Unum - Out of many Sinbads, One

Real Sinbad/Fake Sinbad '08 - Just a ridiculous amount of Sinbad, and you've got to love that

27 Comments

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So wait, you're not the real Sinbad?

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Take the Sinbad TPM Challenge Pledge:

I ___________ accept the Sinbad TPM Challenge. I pledge to see Sinbad perform the next time he comes to my town. I promise to pay the $10 cover and buy two alcoholic drinks. I promise to laugh heartily if and when appropriate.

Everything I learned in my college class on postmodernism is coming absolutely TRUE!

Lead us, Sinbad, toward a more perfect union.

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Everything I learned in my college class on postmodernism is coming absolutely TRUE!

No. It is not "coming" true. It was always already true. Precession of simulacra, dude. The map is the territory. Let a thousand Sinbads bloom.

We tried to tell you. We even assigned DeLillo's White Noise and took the first Matrix film seriously. Only now do you realize that our postmodernism courses would be the only reliable guides to this election.

Bwah hah hah, etc.

$10 cover and a 2 drink minimum?! Who do you think I am- Theo Huxtable?! Sorry, my kids' hammerpants aren't going to buy themselves.

"E Pluribusinbad Unum - Out of many Sinbads, One"

Always killer, no filler.

Dying laughing again.

Fake Sinbad is hovering in the space between Sinbad/Not Sinbad. At first, we reject him--for how can something like that exist? The dichotomy is all there is. We are uncomfortable, rashy. But then, slowly, we begin to understand. The dichotomy is false. The space is all there is.

Rashy? Make sure to practice safe-Sinbad.

There's no such thing as "safe Sinbad". Only abstinence works. With a dash of absynthe.

Until we embrace paradox, there is no truth.

As Buddha would say, he is not not Sinbad.

If you meet Sinbad on the road, kill him.

Sell all your cleverness to purchase bewilderment.

I can't quit you, Fake Sinbad. You complete me.

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I feel like I'm in the matrix.

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Who would want to pretend to be Sinbad? If you're pretending to be someone else, choose someone with some talent.

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Um, excuse me?

I didn't see YOU getting picked to go to Bosnia with Hillary Clinton.

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How do you know?

Yo, Fake Sinbad! We need some peace keeping over here! cscs is taking on some sniper fire!

Duck cscs, duck!

I've got something for you to do corkscrew landing on BevD!

The Sinbad may be fake, but our love is real;)

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So you're fake Sheryl Crow?

Like youre so original 'BevD'. What, BevA, B or C was taken?!

Brains, looks, and a seat in first class on Air Force One. Sinbad, let's hook up.

Sinbad, you're such a player.

And all this time I thought it was about the car. It turns out all they care about is your airplane.

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"E Pluribusinbad Unum - Out of many Sinbads, One"

Fucking gold.

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So, he's sorta a Schroedinger's Sinbad?

Is Fake Sinbad the anti-matter of Real Sinbad? If our Sinbad's parachute pants flap in the wind in California, does the Real Sinbad feel a breeze in Florida?

What happens if they come into close proximity of one another? Could it result in a black hole? Or perhaps as suggested before, an Airborne Toxic Event?

I feel unnerved by this new Real-Sinbad-Denying False-Sinbad information.

I actually registered, instead just of lurking here for so long just to say: Thank you, fake Sinbad!

Thank you for this post, thank you for saving America.


Truly why - i hearts teh internets.

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Sinbad

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