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Another Obama Terrorist Relationship


The day before the Pennsylvania primary, Barack Obama's campaign has been rocked by news of another troublesome relationship. There have been reports that Obama is separated by only six degrees from mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden. According to the reports, Obama's kindergarten teacher's family friend's cousin's doorman's grandmother was the kindergarten teacher of mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden.

In addressing the issue, Hillary Clinton took the high road by praising Obama's patriotism, but she expressed sympathetic concern, as a fellow Democrat, that Republicans would raise the issue of Obama's relationship to mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden: "I'm sure he's very patriotic," Clinton said of Obama. "But his relationship with mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden, mastermind of the 9-11 attacks in my city of New York, will be questioned by Republicans."

Proving Hillary Clinton's insight into Republican tactics, John McCain today questioned Obama's relationship to mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden: "I'm sure he's very patriotic," McCain said of Obama. "But we question his relationship with mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden, mastermind of the 9-11 attacks in Hillary Clinton's city of New York."

Both McCain and Clinton have demanded that Obama immediately reject and denounce mass-murdering terrorist, Osama Bin Laden, as well also his own kindergarten teacher, his kindergarten teacher's family friend, his kindergarten teacher's family friend's cousin, and his kindergarten teacher's family friend's cousin's grandmother, not to mention anyone else who is connected to Osama Bin Laden by six or fewer degrees, which, according to social scientists, includes 6.6 billion people.

In response, Obama criticized the press as well his opponents for engaging in "gotcha politics" and for sensationalist coverage of non-issues. Representatives of the press responded that since Obama's opponents had issued press statements about his relationship with mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden, the relationship had become, ipso facto, a campaign issue and thus merited sensationalist coverage.

Representatives from the Clinton campaign, who asked not to be identified so they wouldn't be held accountable, have also darkly hinted that Obama has more skeletons in his closet which might be questioned by Republicans, including six-degree relationships with racist bigots, steroid-using athletes, elitist snobs, and Kevin Bacon. They also alluded to rumors that Barack Obama's last name and Osama's first name differ by just one letter and called on him to reject and denounce the "O-ama" part that the two are alleged to share.


37 Comments

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Well, Genghis, we've each put in our two cents about the state of conversation in these parts. Now I'm going to bed.

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It really is deplorable.

You people have to post more snark!

More snark!

More snark!

More snark!!

thank you

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Surely you would finally get off the fence and endorse Obama if he denounced and rejected O-ama, right? After all, he'd then just be a fellow "b".

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It is highly doubtful I would not cave in to that type of pressure.

:)

It's the buzz that gets me.

You should send a resume to the Onion. Saving the name of Kevin Bacon until the end was pure magic.

Unfortunately this is the kind of bullshit we can expect.

I read somewhere else that the media has declared the birth of Barack Obama a gaffe.

Incidentally, the movie Six Degrees Of Separation was directed by Osama Bin Laden. That's zero degrees of separation, my friend. So, will you also denounce and reject use of the phrase "six degrees of separtion," which is separated from the movie Six Degrees Of Separation by only one degree of actual separation; and therefore, separated from Osama Bin Laden by only two degrees?! And Genghis, that makes you, by a mere three degrees, separated from Osama Bin Laden. And that makes me, by posting, separated from Osama Bin Laden by four degrees- a little too close for my comfort. So I am going to both denounce and reject myself-- but also, I will go further: I am going to pre-denounce and pre-reject the future degrees of separation from Osama Bin Laden that will flow from me to my friends and family, who are future fifth-degree-ers (and the poor suckers don't even know it yet... it's like HIV, I tell you!) Also of note, one of my friend's friends is Osama Bin Laden! So this would separate Osama Bin Laden from Osama Bin Laden by six degrees: further tainting the phrase "six degrees of separation!

Separtion can be deadly if not properly cooked.

No sooner had my instinct to reject and denounce you kicked than I realized that I was a fifth-degree-er. Sadly, I can't even offset this condition with a low Erdős–Bacon number.

Dammit! You just sixth-degreed me! I'm down! Call a chopper!

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You just sixth-degreed me

Excellent verbification. There should be a Facebook app to find your degree of separation from mass-murdering terrorist Osama Bin Laden.

Perhaps the existing Mac OS/X Bacon Number widget could be ported to a Facebook app.

Us elitists are WAY ahead of the curve on this one.

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Well no one's perfect.

Besides this might help Osa (oops !) Obama.
He'd get a sympathy vote from most of voting segment with an embarrassing relative .(Except of course for those who are married to the embarrsasing relative.) How about all those
families with a pederast cousin in the church?
That could be quite an electoral windfall.

I hope they're including this in the exit polls.

What's truly sad is that it's now too late for Gibsonopolous to grill Obama about this in between commercial breaks during what is, woefully, the final debate of this glorious debate season.

And of course the fact that those lovely little Obama spawn, er, daughters, probably have been exposed to this horrid terrorist on a weekly basis. Lucky for him they're not from Texas or they'd be taken at gunpoint by state authorities. Those poor little Lost Girls.

Thank God President Clinton II will have that umbrella of deterrence open to protect us all from these evildoers.

Have you had coffee yet?

I'm not at all comfortable with Clinton's Umbrella of Deterrence.

I'd prefer the vastly superior coverage of a Retractable Awning of Deterrence. Assuming, of course, it could be deployed quickly in times of intense ultraviolent rays.

She also intends to jumpstart the economy by handing out alpacas to rural citizens through social security.

You forgot about that janitor who was in the hospital the day Obama was born. The janitor's son – AJ – grew up and became a meth manufaturer and drug dealer in the streets of Miami. Senator Clinton, when asked said: "I'm sure Senator Obama is not a meth user or a drug dealer, as far as I know. But his relationship with this AJ is troubling to me because of NYC, a big northern city, which has problems with drug dealers and meth is such a vile drug and I know that the Republicans will ask questions about this relationship and why his mother gave birth to him in that hospital."
When asked to respond to Obama's newly discovered relationship, McCain said: "I demand that Senator Obama apologize to all Americans whose sons and daughters have been destroyed by meth. Senator Obama should apologize to all Americans for knowing such a reprehensible member of the human race. Senator Obama should renounce, reject, denounce and disown all drug users, drug dealers and his mother for giving birth to him in that hospital."

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Since were talking about the candidates association with divisive figures, I wonder how bias the press is against Hillary when this little ditty gets swept under the rug.
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/04/clinton-accepts-aid-from-a-div.php
The comments are especially good.

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Yoda and Osama share the vowels "O" and "A." Not only do I renounce "O" and "A", I hereby reject all vowels from this moment forward to demonstrate my patriotism.

Thnk y fr rdng my cmmnt.

Ys W Cn!

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Plagiarizing again, yd? If I may quote cscs:

Oh, I've been discriminating against vowels for a LONG time. Don't get me started on the fucking vowels.

http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/03/paterson-is-lucky-hes-black-an.php#comment-2652813

And what about these striking similarities, if you play "The Name Game," by Shirley Ellis? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Name_Game)

Obama, bama, bo-bama
Banana-fana fo-fama
Fee-fi-mo-mama
Obama!

Compared to

Osama, sama, so-same
Banana-fana fo-fama
See-si-so-sama
Osama!

These are also remarkably, I would say, _suspiciously_ similar. It's no game.

The banana-fana fo-fama line IS THE SAME!!!!!!

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Gnghs,

Y'r pllng p cmmnts frm Mrch?! Y mght hv TPM addctn prblm.

Yd

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As a wise poster once wrote, "If that isn't the pot calling the kettle Judas, I don't know what is."

And you used an "a" in "addctn". Obviously, you can't be trusted to keep to your pledge.

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nthr mpt st!!!!

tpcl bm spprtr

darkly hinted that Obama has more skeletons in his closet which might be questioned by Republicans,

1 -- Will they question these skeletons on national teevee?
2 -- I want to see skeletons questioned. Best pastime evah.
3 – Will these skeletons be waterboarded? Will Steffi, Gibson, Russert, Hannity participate?
4 – will his skeletons be assigned lawyers. I think they should have full legal representation, don’t you?
5 – What have these skeletons been up to in Obama's closet all these years?
6 -- are these skeletons wine or beer drinkers?

Video of Governor Ed Rendell, Uber Hillary backer,
Super Gluing his lips to Minister Farrakhan's Arse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXum_-8I1TA&eurl=http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/04/21/ed-rendell-clinton-surrog_n_97784.html

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I recall hearing that Barack Obama's cousin was behind the deception that led to a pre-emptive invasion of a sovereign nation, which maimed or killed a half million people, causing millions more to flee the country. Infact, his cousin six times removed authorized torture. This relative...rumored to be none other than our VP Dick Cheney.

Actually, Clinton and McCain are personally acquainted with George H.W. Bush. (Not sure about Obama.) GHB had friendly and business connections with the bin Laden paterfamilias. That's just three degrees of separation!

Nonetheless, it is clearly Senator Osama, sorry, Obama, who must denounce and reject his association with this dark-skinned terrorist. The evil, unpatriotic or weird actions of any black man, anywhere, reflect poorly on Senator Obama's candidacy. How can we trust Senator Obama when black men in various places around the world have been known, from time to time, to commit evil acts or say weird things?

(The evil acts and weird, unpatriotic comments of Senator McCain's and Senator Clinton's white acquaintances (and supporters), of course, say nothing about the character or judgment of either white candidate.)

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FYI, I just posted about a TPM group I started at my.barackobama.com, for coordinating volunteer activity from now through November as well as off-line social interaction. I'm also organizing impromptu beers tomorrow night in NYC. If you're interested, please the details here:

http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/04/mybarackobamacom-group-for-tpm.php

Don't forget to recommend so that this makes the recommended list. Thanks.

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LOL!!!!!!!!


This is really good, Genghis. LOLOLOLOL!

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You're caught up in ridiculing the opposition, but think about the five or ten percent of voters in the middle, people who aren't as sophisticated as you are. You need to take seriously that the purposes of our side are negatively affected by what you're doing. Trashing the opposition only adds to the conviction that Obama is just being defensive when he attacks the other side.

A better course is to get above the frey, to address gotcha politics in general, as I've suggested in my most recent posts. You need to respect the people who are beguiled by the attacks.

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Thanks for the preachin', Preach. I'm neither a candidate nor a representative of anyone's campaign. My only goals are to entertain and to illuminate absurdity and hypocrisy in my own snarky way wherever I see them. If that turns off those who are unable to perceive said absurdity and hypocrisy, so be it. They're grown ups (some of them).

And for the record, Clinton is not my only target. I have not hesitated to take on my fellow Obama supporters when I felt they asked for it, as in my previous post.

Hey Genghis, er, Mike, er, Genghis . . .

Maybe we could have one day a week of pretending to rip into Obama, to make this, you know, a safe space for the Obama-impaired.

God, I like the sound of that. There are Obama supporters and the Obama-impaired. How playful, and yet deeply offensive.

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Kind of like affirmative action?

Somehow I see it devolving into troll imitations, as usual.

Nice choice of screen name, Preach.

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☠enghis

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