Internal Memo - CONFIDENTIAL

January 2008

From: Axelrod and Plouffe, in conjunction with the Dark Crusaders.

To: Not Bill Clinton (Because if he got his hands on this, it would be political dynamite!!!)



Dear Secret Cabal of Obamabots:

As we know, January's "victory" in Iowa, while fortuitous, did not really count, because it came in the form of an elitist caucus.  Therefore, to shore up support and lend our fly-by-night campaign some measure of legitimacy, we must use every advantage at our disposal to discredit Hillary (as well as her charming and still-strikingly-good-looking husband, Bill).  And, as any freshman political science student can tell you, the only thing that's more of a "slam-dunk" electorally than running a black candidate for national office is that candidate's ability to effectively employ the fabled "The Race Card."

For those of you that don't know what the "Race Card" is, and how it is played, let me briefly explain.  Remember when Harold Ford Jr. was running for a senate seat in 2006?  Recognizing he was behind in the polls, Ford secretly orchestrated an RNC ad that hearkened back to those days in which miscegenation was a hangin' offense.  The liberal commentariat was up in arms, and public sympathy migrated from Ford's opponent to Ford himself.  By preying on white guilt--playing the "Race Card"--Harold Ford was able to manipulate the electorate, successfully losing the Tennessee senatorial election by a respectable margin.  What's more, by the time everything was over, most folks agreed that he was a fine young man.  Score!

I propose that this campaign take a similar tack.  Of course, Sen. Obama's stated aim has been to look past race and unite us as a nation, and frankly, that's adorable.  He might at first bristle at our nefarious plans, arguing that becoming pigeonholed as the "black" candidate is political suicide; that his only chance for broad electable viability would come from his specifically NOT playing the "Race Card," and that the less said about race during this campaign, the better. 

But we're smarter than that.  If we can get America thinking that the Clintons are a bunch of amoral race-baiters (even though they totally aren't duh!!!), then Obama might just have a shot at this election, even though we are bereft of ideas and the Clintons are actually the ones embody political dynamism and the one who care about the U.S. Americans for real!!!!

So here's the plan:  Right before the N.H. Primary, bribe Billy Shaheen into blabbing something about rumors of Obama's past drug use (to grease the wheels, you might consider giving him one of those "spin your own cotton candy" machines--I hear he loves those).  Later, get Bob Johnson to intimate that Obama dealt black-sounding drugs in black-sounding neighborhoods when he was a black-sounding community organizer.  I predict that through our subtle application of the Race Card, the ever-gullible MSM will think it is actually Shaheen and Johnson behind these nutty statements, and, ironically, the blowback will damage the Clintons' credibility, rather than ours!  With the exception of that cursed clear-eyed straight-shooter Sean Wilentz, the media will simply assume that it's the Clinton campaign cynically playing the race card, not us!!!!

Later, if we win South Carolina by a healthy margin (and if our Race Card strategy goes off without a hitch, that should definitely work to our benefit in the Palmetto State), then let's get some of those media-types we've got in our pocket to goad President Clinton into making the eminently reasonable comparison between Obama's win, and Jesse Jackson's mop-up job in the state twenty years earlier.  It's an innocuous comparison, to be sure--but I'll bet we can spin it into seeming somehow "racist"--as though Clinton was trying to tag Obama as a marginal "black" politician along the lines of Jesse Jackson; or that he was trying to create the impression that the votes of blacks in largely African American states were less important than the millions of white voters in the regular states. 

So, friends, those are my thoughts for now.  If this all works out as successfully as I am hoping it will, I've got some other tricks up my sleeve as well.  There's some great Muslim stuff that we can use to further embarrass the Clinton campaign, and I've heard that Geraline Ferraro has been known to let off some steam when you get her liquored up.  I'll be supplying the "Daily Breeze" offices with plenty of box wine the day she comes in for her interview.   Let's watch the fur fly, and enjoy our underhanded handiwork.  Bill Clinton--first black president? More like the first president to be rolled by a black future-president's racially cynical campaign! Awww yeah!!!!