M: “Thank you both for joining us today. Hillary, can you describe your campaign strategy?”

Hillary: “Well, M, ever since early February, our strategy has been to change the rules of the Democratic primary in any way necessary in order to win the nomination.”

M: “How are you doing that?”

Hillary: “The important thing is to some how increase the perceived value of states I’ve won, and devalue those Barak has won. We started by repeatedly pointing out that I have won almost all the large swing states. That didn’t get much traction, but Bill thought of a better argument.”

Bill: “Yeah, we discovered that the states Hill won have more electoral votes than the ones Barak has won. I thought that would be a killer argument, but somehow that didn’t get much traction either.”

Hillary: “One thing has caught on: we have gotten people to focus on electability - we  talk about that every day, how I'm more electable than Barak, and can you believe it, no one from Barak’s campaign says a word, never claims Barak is more electable! Unfortunately we are still losing supers every day. Bill thought up a new idea about caucuses.”

Bill: “Yeah, this is how we're trying to devalue Barak’s states: see, most of them have been caucus states. It occurred to me, instead of focusing on people who voted, why don’t we focus on the people who didn’t vote, and sort of imply they would have voted for Hill! And say that caucuses disenfranchise all those people who didn't vote!”

M: “Has that worked?”

Bill: “Too early to tell.”

M: “What about Florida and Michigan?”

Hillary: “Now that’s a tough issue. Last summer, I was sure I was going to be President, and I wanted to be able to control the primary schedule in 2012. So, we had to penalize Florida and Michigan. Now we are losing, so of course we have to reverse strategy, and fight to get the Florida and Michigan delegations seated.”

M: “Do you think you will prevail this Saturday at the Rules Committee meeting?”

Bill: “That would be a disaster. If we win, we have no justification to fight on. Best could happen is a compromise that we don’t agree to. Then we get a few more delegates, plus we can keep fighting on until the convention, arguing voting rights, disenfranchisement, and the like.”

M: “Hillary, if Obama is nominated, will you eventually support his candidacy?

Hillary: “Never. This is my year. I have worked for this all my life. I put up with 8 years of shenanigans in the White House from you-know-who. I’ve put in 8 long years in the Senate, behaving myself in that men’s club, paying my dues, going around the country to raise money for every Democrat and his brother. I am 60 years old, Barak is, what, 40? He has lots of time, he should have held back. He should never have challenged me. If I don’t win the nomination, McCain will be elected and I will run in 2012, and win. Remember, the last time the Democrats renominated a losing presidential candidate was Adlai Stevenson in 1956, and he lost worse the second time than he did the first.”

M: “What if Obama wins the Presidency this year?”

Bill: “Not going to happen. We will keep undercutting him all the way to the convention. When we are done with him, he will be lucky to be reelected Senator from Illinois. Meanwhile we keep making “peace overtures” to the Obama campaign. They are a trusting bunch of people, they believe it every time. Keeps them off guard. We turn right around and undercut him some more. It’s Hillary or McCain this year, that’s all there is to it.”

M: “Thank you both for your candor, and best of luck.”