Friends in Christ Jesus - I've had to search my heart today because my thoughts are troubled today. I have watched the candidate my party has selected and tried my very best to get behind him. Despite what most people think about the Country being ready to vote Democrat in this election because people are too ignorant to see the glory and beauty of the Bush policies, I have my doubts. And if Democrats really did hold an advantage this year, leave it to you liberal pussies to screw it up by nominating a black man or a woman. Are you kidding me? It's only 2008. Your parents (or even some of you) can remember the day when black people couldn't drink from the same water fountain as whites or attend the same schools. It really wasn't that long ago - and you think those prejudices just faded away because it became more socially acceptable to be a non racist? No friends, those prejudices are still very much there, they are just not said in public but reserved for the dinner table or the poker table or the bar scene or for the State of West Virginia (for my money still the greatest state in our Country). But we have a nominating problem of our own. For some reason, my party didn't have the vision to nominate a true American hero like Mike Huckabee. I would have even supported Sam Brownback. These true Christians would have used the power Bush bestowed on the office to return us to our Christian roots. I recently saw a fantastic documentary on the cable TV called "Jesus Camp". It outlined the life of these beautiful children and their devotion for our Lord and Savior. That program inspired me in many ways. It lead me to introduce a bill into our local township to allow children to vote, just so long as they have been washed in the blood of Christ and outwardly proclaim Jesus as their Lord and savior. Just imagine if we could get all of our Country to allow Christian children to vote. As you know, we don't abort our little foot soldiers in Christ like you godless feminists, so this and all future elections would be a landslide! But again - I am off topic. The reason I'm perplexed is that I get a little (no - a lot) creeped out when I watch John McCain. And it's not just when he speaks. Every single action he takes, from the way he slowly stretches out his long, bony fingers to gingerly clutch the hand of a supporter (it's like he's stealing just a little bit of your life force when he touches you, sustaining him for just one more day). And when the cameras are there to catch the handshake for the media - he squints at the bright lights of the flash. That's not all - I've compiled a brief list of body actions and mannerisms that just plain give me the heebee jeebees: - What's with the constantly licking his mouth and darting his tongue in and out like a serpent? Doesn't he know that snakes and other reptiles call Satan their master? I don't think that is the impression he wants to be giving to the God fearing people of the Republican party. - Can anyone tell me what that mass is growing on Senator McCain's shoulder? I understand that when you get older, you sometimes grow a hunch. My grandfather had a lump on his back that would have given that Notre Dame fellow a run for his money. I have absolutely nothing against a process that our Lord Jesus created. Aging is a perfectly natural phenomenon. But when it was politically advantageous for him, John McCain said some pretty nasty things to say about some of Jesus' soldiers here on earth in the Religious Right. And to me that's an invitation for the devil to gain a foothold. What if his hunch isn't just a mass of disfigured bone, muscle and cartilage - but instead a mini-demon sent from Hell to corrupt his mind and control his body. Satan has always wanted to get his hand on "the button" and nuke the chosen people in Israel. He almost had it with Bill Clinton when he sent a Succubus in the form of Monica Lewinski. And it would have worked too, if it wasn't for the hero's in the Republican revolution. We saw it as political wrangling - but it was nothing short of a battle of good vs evil for the fate of all mankind. And since the Demoncrats have control of Congress now, we can't afford to let Satan get his hands on another President. Again, maybe it's just a gross hump growing on his shoulder, but I think we should let the genius minds at Regent University check it out just to be safe. - The facial contortions he makes and the bright red color of his face when he gets mad are something to really examine. True Christians don't get as angry as our candidate gets. It doesn't take much to set him off either. Everyone on board his bus knows that he doesn't answer questions from Asians (or "gooks") as he playfully refers to them. I don't understand why the Asian people can't get it through their heads. He was TORTURED by Asians. He shouldn't be asked to differentiate between the Vietnamese or Koreans or Chinese or the dirty Japs. Like all Republicans, he likes things simple. And if he's challenged on any of his crazy positions by someone he considers inferior (which is almost everyone) - he has no problem calling them a "Fucking Jerk" on the floor of the Senate. I think he figures if Strom Thurmond can stand on that hallowed ground and fight to oppress an entire group of human beings, he can yell at some idiot - because - remember - HE WAS TORTURED!! - Perhaps the thing that frightens me the most (besides the creepy tongue and demon growth) is his propensity for lying. Now this is different from his flip flopping, which I don't have a problem with because he's now flopping to the Christ side because he knows he needs their vote. But he's been caught in really stupid ignorant lies over and over and over again. And I'm afraid the reason is that he really doesn't remember what he said even a day before. I don't think he understands that we've invented the technology to capture and broadcast every crazy thing he says to the entire world. And it can be contrasted against the crazy things he says today, which will be re-contrasted against the lies he says tomorrow. Now, if George Bush hadn't given the lie such a bad name, this wouldn't be as big of a deal. But for some reason, the American people think they have some "right" to be told the truth about the World they live in. Stupid Americans. If God had wanted us to know the truth, well............