Take my hand, Hillary supporters
It's time for the people of the house of love, opportunity, and justice - the democratic party, to unite. As an African-American, I have been wounded, intentionally or not by some of the things that have gone on in this campaign. I think it is just as important to recognize that "white" people and women have been wounded as well.
At one point in my life, I lived in a 4 bedroom 1.5 bath house with 12 other people. There was only so much room to move, so much food to eat, so much hot water, and one phone line (no cell phones at the time). We developed unhealthy attitudes and sometimes expressed them in unhealthy ways - which left scars. I distinctly remember an argument between my uncle and aunt which resulted in my aunt hurling an ash tray at him that left a cut behind his ear. In the span of 10 minutes, my uncle approached my aunt with a sincere apology, a big hug and kiss, eventhough he was the agrieved party in that situation. She apologized as well. The uplifting part was that they helped each other heal those wounds inflicted upon each other, fairly quickly.
My people, we have that power as well!
We have 5 months instead of 10 minutes to get it right. There is no need or reality to agree on everything. Just the realistic need to heal. The need to understand that this was a major fight that was bound to leave scars. They are battle scars, but not everlasting scars.
I am an Obama supporter with an extended hand to you, Hillary supporter, and all that wish to walk together on this long, hard, yet fulfilling journey. Take my hand.
What Hillary supporters really need to do is watch a few hours of Fox News a week. It's enough to remind you how simply awful Republican are and how serious it is that we unite. Either than or watch McCain's speech from the other night–Ugh!
June 4, 2008 11:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
Or there's alwaysthis to remind them how seriously they're taken by McCain's campaign.
June 5, 2008 12:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
why would you want to hold hands with folks who supported a racist monster?
having tagged hillary as nothing less than the spawn of hitler and medusa, and bill as the neighborhood sex predator, and having labeled their supporters as uneducated trolls who want to keep the black man down, pray tell, what makes you folks all of a sudden so friendly?
some will buy it, some will fall dutifully in line, some of us, however, have strong memories of the venom, bile and hatred for that bitch and her hideously destructive campaign, we will NOT buy this sudden outpouring of: aw it was just a rough campaign, you trolls are now welcome...sure we are...
nope, keep the change and keep your hands to yourself, please, from one old, long time veteran of many political wars, finis for me.
not another dime for my state party, the democrats, the officials pretended to be objective all the while slamming the clintons for their excesses.
but, what am i, just a solitary voice, i mean little in the bigger scheme of things, i accept that, but my little part will not be that of willing accomplice to a fraud.
with a resume as thin as onion paper, it is not within my american loving soul to committ to obama. sorry, but, party on dudes, be awesome, you are all so enthralled with yourselves its comical.
June 5, 2008 6:51 AM | Reply | Permalink
It never gets better as long as you continue to self-identify as a troll. Good luck with that.
June 5, 2008 8:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
Yup, this is about as counter productive and dumb as it gets. Please feel free to not unleash venom on members of the democratic party. No matter how passionatly you feel about Obama.
Thanks
June 5, 2008 11:03 AM | Reply | Permalink
Seems to me you need to get over something.
What could it be?
Oh yes: yourself.
June 5, 2008 12:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
You mean like this?
"In the coming days, you will hear many asking whether Hillary Clinton’s bid for the White House fell short because of sexism. And there will be that related question, “is Obama sexist?”
There is really not much evidence that Obama is sexist. There is only, “Hold on a second, sweetie. We’ll hold a press avail,” which he told a reporter at an event outside Detroit. And perhaps his comment to a factory worker in Allentown, Pa., that “you’re gorgeous, you look like you might be a dancer.”
Okay, there’s also the time Obama, after a particularly tough exchange with Hillary, told a crowd, “You challenge the status quo and suddenly the claws come out.” And, “You know, over the last several weeks since she fell behind, she’s resorted to what’s called ‘kitchen sink’ strategies. . . . She’s got the kitchen sink flying, and the china flying, and the, you know, the buffet is coming at me.”
Also, “I understand that Senator Clinton, periodically when she’s feeling down, launches attacks as a way of trying to boost her appeal.” (This one is especially benign, considering he went with “periodically” instead of “every 28 days or so.”)
And when Obama offered the backhanded compliment “You’re likeable enough, Hillary” in a New Hampshire debate, some women may have wondered why we never heard this kind of jab at John Edwards or Bill Richardson.
And then there was Michelle Obama’s comment that, “Our view is that if you can’t run your own house, you certainly can’t run the White House.”
But other than that, there’s no evidence of sexism.
So Obama likely isn’t sexist. And though some say his campaign, friends, and allies might be, there’s not much evidence of that, either.
Okay, so when congressman Steve Cohen (D., Tenn.) was asked whether Clinton should drop out of the race, he said, “Glenn Close should have stayed in that tub” — comparing Hillary to the obsessive psychotic from Fatal Attraction.
And maybe John Edwards responded to a question from a reporter about Hillary getting choked up in a New Hampshire appearance by declaring, “I think what we need in a commander-in-chief is strength and resolve, and presidential campaigns are tough business, but being president of the United States is also tough business.” And Edwards did say he was “not sure about that coat,” referring to the coral jacket Hillary wore at one debate.
And of course, Obama’s friend of 20 years, Fr. Michael Pfleger, on the pulpit of Trinity United Church of Christ, painted Hillary as crying because “a black man is stealing my show.”
In the interest of fairness, I should note there were a few other such isolated incidents — columnists decrying her “frigidity” and “inability to keep Bill on the porch”; the Washington Post’s Robin Givhan writing about her cleavage; Randi Rhodes calling her “a f***ing whore”; Maureen Dowd claiming that she “has turned into Sybil”; MSNBC reporter David Schuster asking whether Chelsea was being “pimped out”; Katie Couric asking Hillary to confirm that her “nickname in school was Miss Frigidaire”; cartoonist Pat Oliphant depicting her crying while facing hostile foreign leaders (and Osama bin Laden expressing, “she’s so sensitive, I had no idea!”); Chris Matthews declaring that “the reason she’s a U.S. senator, the reason she’s a candidate for president, the reason she may be a front-runner is her husband messed around”; comments from an unnamed Democratic party official that her effort once she fell behind in delegates was “the Tonya Harding option”; magician Penn Jillette declaring on MSNBC that Obama’s success in February was due to Black History Month and Hillary’s subsequent success could be attributed to “White Bitch Month”; an audience member at a debate asking her if she prefers diamonds or pearls; and John Aravosis of AmericaBlog posting pictures of Monica Lewinsky with her mouth wide open every time Hillary irked him.
But other than that, there is no evidence that sexism played a role in Hillary Clinton’s defeat"
By Jim Geraghty
June 5, 2008 1:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
Should Obama have said, "You're not likable enough, Hillary?" Addin teh negative puts this in the proper light. He interjected to try to bail her out of an embarrassing question, just as he did for Richardson in one of the debates. Make a big deal of it. You're just marginalizing yourself further, Lalo.
Same with the kitchen sink thing. Or hadn't you heard the expression prior to Obama's usage?
I won't say there's never been sexism, but you don't make your case by stretching facts over your biases.
June 5, 2008 1:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
I don't know exactly why I suspect you never had a period. Just a guess.
Simply because it's a common expression doesn't make it less or not sexist. "Psst, come here" is also very common. I'm sure Michelle Obama heard it a few times.
I also understand that you will always defend Obama, hence the examples you picked. That's okay, I'm in the same position for the other candidate, so we're even.
But you want to ignore the larger point - even when it's no longer relevant for your candidate's chances.
So, if this conversation bothers you, then please feel free to participate in the great dialogue on race instead.
Sexism is clearly a non-issue for you.
Until, I guess again, it is directed at Michelle Obama in the next 5 months.
June 5, 2008 1:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
I agree there was sexism in this campaign. Looking at your quote, it does seem that the media is quite culpable and despicable. Sexism is something to fight against, and I dont need to think it cost her the election to believe that (plenty of places to look for that reason, sexism one). It also seems that BHO quotes, compared to media transgressions, are not as mean spirited, and are all arguably non sexist. In fact, given Bill, Edwards, Hillary's condescending ( I offer this halfheartedly... would she "shame" an older white man?), Ferarro racism, BHO seems amazingly clean. You agree?
June 5, 2008 2:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
No, I don't. Because, it's not about he said/she said only to decide who was worse. If that's all you want to talk about - up to you.
Yesterday, I heard on Fox News yesterday that Michelle Obama's face looked longer than her day.
I'm sorry, but this is not acceptable, even though I don't like her and don't support her husband.
But if you're telling me you're going to defend Michelle Obama against sexism and NOT Clinton (because Clinton deserved it or some other BS), then I'd say you're a fucking hypocrite.
You agree?
June 5, 2008 2:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
Lalo, talk to me. I admit I don't get it, so explain how the Fox News comment was sexist. I can see that statement being made about anyone, male or female. How is gender involved here?
June 5, 2008 3:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think we are on the same page, actually. You can put your knife down anytime.
June 5, 2008 6:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you for putting it together so well. Of course I will vote for Obama, but I am so tired of the free pass he got on his sexism and the excuse-mongering from his supporters. They must think he has feet of clay since they freak out of even mild criticism. Honestly, if he cannot withstand critique from within his party, he will wither in the general. So stop being such cowards about honestly assessing him as a candidate. This demand that we see him as some perfect man is so wrong in so many ways.
People inevitably project some of themselves, their needs, beliefs and aspirations onto the candidates they support. Not just Obama supporters, we all do it. We can never know a candidate perfectly and we flesh them out from out own experience. That's normal. But in part because Obama's campaign has not been about policy and perhaps because even his supporters see him as something representative rather than a flesh and blood individual, the level of projection in this campaign surpasses anything I have ever seen before.
When Obama wins the presidency and must govern, he is inevitably going to disappoint each and every one of us on some issue or another. If their expectations are so unrealistic and so devoid of seeing him as a fallible human being, what will maintain their support for the long haul? Not a shared ideological vision because he is keeping his campaign ideology-free. Not policy, he is keeping that pretty platitudinous and generic. No, he's campaigning on his personality and that's a hollow foundation when the day comes when he must disappoint. I would feel so much more hopeful if I believed Obama's supporters saw him realistically instead of this fantasy candidate, if they could acknowledge his imperfections rather than insist they don't exist.
June 5, 2008 2:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
By that logic, should we hate all the Germans because they brought Adolf H. to power? or all the Italians because they brough Benito M. to power? or all the Russians because Josef S. was in charge?
In short, I think you can be legitimately angry at Hillary C., but how productive is it to be angry at her supporters?
And a similar question to her supporters with regard to Barack O.
June 5, 2008 6:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
Great Post!
I have never been quite sure why such acrimony developed between the supporters of our two candidates, but I agree now is the time to put it all behind us.
Our choice is clear: do we want to move forward into this century by expanding equality and justice for all or shall we move back to the 1950's and undue the social and political gains of the last half century.
A vote for Obama is a move forward.
A vote for John McCain is a vote to place the US Supreme Court into the hands of the neo-cons for the foreseeable future.
Time to unite and let the wounds heal-now is all of our time!
June 5, 2008 7:34 AM | Reply | Permalink
A vote for Obama is a vote for the last man in Chicago to discover that Rezko is a crook. He is also the former community organizer who had so few clues about the community that nobody bothered to tell him that Rezko was running slum housing in his neighborhood.
Obama's treatment of his wife was sexist in the extreme, first he seduced her when he was her intern (great career move for her, I'm sure), then he coos in his autobiography about how he disrupted all those cute 'big' plans she had, then he leaves all the managing of the household to her and is baffled as to why she is angry with him.
Look at the index to Audacity and compare the citations for Mother and Father and Women's issues. Go back to the pages and see how much is simply boilerplate recital of history. A lot of it is lament for one salary households! No mention of what a dependant role this typically leaves women in.
It is in this context that women interpret the oh so innocent 'sweetie' remark. Like he should be given a pass because he would have used buddy if the reporter had been male. When was the last time you heard guys complaining that buddy was a put down? Obama knows that the phrase sweetie is
'a bad habit' but couldn't be bothered to change.
He knows the words but doesn't have the music, he talks the talk but doesn't have a clue.
What Obama should have said in response to the nice question is what the F#@K kind of a question is that.
What he did say was both condescending and carried a voice tone that said while you're 'nice enough' everything else is wrong with you.
Obama has had his campaign go far far out of their way to portray Hillary's motives for an innocent action as wrong and vile. A lot of it has been pure slander.
I have learned to look for a political problem of Obama's every time he attacked Hillary. Obama brought national attention to the Kennedy matter claiming alarm whereas if he had left it alone in the sense she had intended it, there would have been virtually no coverage.
He was afraid that she might be able to persuade the delegates that they did not yet know all that might come out about him so he transformed waiting to find out into sharing the vile motives he projected onto Hillary. What problem do I think he was distracting from? -- take Father Pfleger for starters.
Father Pfleger is an interesting example of Obama's technique for lying --- ignore the realities and tell a story that people will find sympathetic. How wrong it was that anyone, says he, would hold him responsible for the behavior of a guest preacher. Well, back to reality. Father Pfleger is one of the preachers that Obama cited for Cathleen Falsani of the Sun Times back in 2004 as one of his famous moral compasses. Would anyone reading this comment vote for a candidate who had friends who sounded about Obama the way Father Pfleger sounded about Hillary?
I'd far rather vote for McCain who is recognized as archaic on women's issues that turn what I fear to be Obama's attitude into the future for women.
Can anyone tell me if Obama had any response to the "Iron my shirt" incident? He does have two daughters even if he can't stand Hillary.
It is not the impact of all these relatively little incidents on women that causes the distress, it is the belief that they are tells for an underlying attitude that would be disastrous for women.
Even if I were convinced that Obama was a true feminist I would still vote against him because of the way he indulged homophobia by headlining Donnie McClurkin. I realized abruptly that I would never vote for anyone who used a racist singer in that fashion to appeal to racist whites, so why should I vote for Obama who was willing to use a black homophobe to appeal to black homophobia? The willingness to use bigotry in this fashion was appalling and so very contradictory to his announced claim to be a uniter.
I only wish that Obama was worthy of the affection he has deliberately induced to so many.
One serious affront, like not choosing Hillary for Vice-President, when she is quite clearly the most qualified candidate for that post short of her husband or Al Gore could be forgiven. This pattern of degrading behavior towards women of Obama himself and his past associates is the equivalent of a series of flying irons. It needs to stop before forgiveness can even be thought of.
Obama caused his own problems with women.
June 5, 2008 5:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
There are Hillary supporters and then there are trolls.
Hillary supporters backed what they considered the best candidate on policy issues, experience, character, suitability for our times, and other qualities. They are, in many cases, angry and frustrated with an outcome they perceive as wrong-headed and lamentable. But they are not rabidly anti-Obama to the point of talking trash about him being a Muslim, getting his career from Tony Rezko or paying people to call superdelegates. They have a threshold of basic fairness that cannot be crossed. Such as these are not to be roughed up or put down.
Trolls may be rhetorically shot on sight.
June 5, 2008 11:27 AM | Reply | Permalink
i am a hilliary supporter and i am not a troll but i am afraid the poster above is correct many of us have walked farrr away from the Dems and from your candidate. accept it. to call us trolls is only reinforcing our decision in doing so was correct.
June 5, 2008 12:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
ohh and personally that take my hand BS makes me ill. i am really not the type into that sort of mush talk.
June 5, 2008 12:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
I too will vote for this guy too!
June 5, 2008 12:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
Craig, I'm a Hillary supporter who will gladly take your hand. What a lovely post thank you for showing a level of compassion and understanding rarely expressed here @ the cafe. Your story about the crowded house and your aunt and uncle was a brilliant frame.
June 5, 2008 12:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
I'm confident that after the primary wounds have healed, people will most certainly unite around a common cause. Kicking some Republican ass!
June 5, 2008 1:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
I am a Clinton supporter and I will vote for Obama, but there are many of you Obama supporters whose hands I will not take. I don't recall your avatar by the posts that have so infuriated and alienated me so, sure I probably would take your hand. But, honestly, there are a few people here whose offenses against not just Clinton and her supporters, but against the idea of democracy itself are so egregious they are not people I would want to breate the same air as
June 5, 2008 2:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
We can squash all that over beers.
June 5, 2008 3:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
Here, here!
June 5, 2008 3:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hillary Clinton is Hillary Clinton. She is not 17+ million people. And the 17+ million people who supported Hillary Clinton are not Hillary Clinton.
I hold Hillary Clinton responsible for the campaign that she ran, the things her campaign team and surrogates said. I do not hold the voters who voted for her responsible for what came out of Chelsea's or Bill's or Hillary's mouths.
Clinton supporters -- like the fans of any sports team -- may be feeling mad, disappointed, stoic, stalwart, agitated, in denial or whatever other emotion they may feel. And ultimately they need to come to grips with those emotions. Given a few weeks, the vast majority of them will get over their issues and will make a decision, not out of anger, about whom to support in the general election. I hope they vote based on issues and in their best self-interest. If they are pro-choice, voting for Obama would be in support of that issue. Voting for McCain would not.
With regard to the junior Senator from New York, my feelings are much different. But what I think and feel about her, have little to nothing to do with her supporters.
So I agree, with Craig... as Democrats, as voters, it's time to start our own healing process.
June 5, 2008 6:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
***"Sweetie" The reporter's own assesment on being called sweetie: "I didn't think it was a big deal."
Sweetie is the feminine version of "buddy" or "pal". If Obama didn't have an overall tendency to be informal with men and women in this way, if he consistently called male reporters sir, always stopped what he was doing to answer their questions, and generally treated them more professionally than women, you could say he uses two standards for men and women. But since he often uses a casual style, there's no double standard. "Sweetie" did not come from a place of disrespect for women. Even though within an hour, he called her to apologize if he'd offended her inadvertently. We can bet if Obama had been asked in reference to Hillary "How do we beat the bitch?" as McCain was, he wouldn't giggle and say, "That's the question." as McCain did. And that Obama hasn't, as McCain is witnessed to have done, called his wife the c-word.
***"You look gorgeous. Like you might be a dancer."
Nothing like taking something completely out of context in order to make it incriminating. For example, if the woman had just told Obama she used to be a dancer. Here's the full story.
"Obama lavished compliments on dancewear manufacturer Marisa Cerveris, who gave him a black and pink leotard for Malia and Sasha [his daughters], explaining she was once in the New York City ballet. "You look like you might be a dancer," Obama told her, later adding: "You're big time."
"You're gorgeous," he told Cerveris after glancing at one of her old ballet photos.
"I was," she replied.
"You still are," he countered, asking the crowd, "Isn't she beautiful?" and answering his own question: "Absolutely."
----
Yes, we can only imagine the hurt feelings that woman must have felt saying that she used to be beautiful but not anymore, and a presidential candidate and celebrity assured her she still was. What a pig that Obama. If he wasn't sexist, when she said, "I used to be beautiful," he would have just shrugged and said, "No opinion."
Maybe she was as insulted by sexism as Obama was when he came on The View and Barbara Walters told him all the girls thought he was very sexy. Outrageous to treat a presidential candidate as such, isn't it?
***And, “You know, over the last several weeks since she fell behind, she’s resorted to what’s called ‘kitchen sink’ strategies. . . . She’s got the kitchen sink flying, and the china flying, and the, you know, the buffet is coming at me.”
If common kitchen metaphors should be off limits because you can find double meaning in them, maybe Hillary should not have said, "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Just speaking for myself, I'm very comfortable in the kitchen."
***Also, “I understand that Senator Clinton, periodically when she’s feeling down, launches attacks as a way of trying to boost her appeal."
Obviously a reference not to her mood being down, but being "down" in what was at that time a 2-person race and needing to attack her opponent who is leading. But if you want to assume the worst possible meaning of each candidate's statement, then we'll say Obama was saying Hillary's period affects her mood and Hillary unequivocally expressed hope Obama would be assassinated, which I would argue makes for a bit more disgusting of human being.
***You also forgot the nutcracker doll, brought back from impeachment days, where a Hillary nutcracker crushes nuts between her thighs. There were never crass jokes about Bill Clinton like that were there? That stupid joke marginalizes a female leader who deserves more respect. (Even though she herself once joked she saw Mahatma Gandhi working as a gas station attendant. Because get it? All Indians do those shitty jobs.)
***Talking about Hillary's cleavage. Did anyone ever say something like that about Bill Clinton? Except for the time he was on the cover of a magazine and the media went berserk because it looked like you could see his package?
Yes, sexism was a huge disadvantage for Hillary what with a majority of the electorate being women, many of them longing to see a woman in the White House. Even Geraldine Ferraro identified Hillary's gender as the tiebreaker in why she supported Hillary... while claiming Obama had an unfair advantage because he was black... while Hillary was arguing whites wouldn't vote for him... and saying "hard-working Americans, white Americans" even though, woops, that crazy phrasing accidentally presses a button for the race-resenting voters and helps her out.
Hey, let's use the existence of racism as a way to make progress for women!
***Also, don't forget, Newsweek now reports Hillary's people to Obama: Don't you dare offer VP to another woman. How about that for feminism? Hillary's camp says Obama should decide his top choice for the job, and if it happens to be a woman, disqualify her based on her gender.
Well, if I haven't convinced you, and you're still hungry for revenge on Obama supporters, go ahead and use your vote out of spite. Why not? The last 8 years have shown us the political positions of the president don't really matter all that much.
June 5, 2008 8:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
This primary was bad for the Democratic party. I have always considered myself a progressive and have always voted straight ticket. This mess of a process has split the party and frankly I worry that we won't be able to fix it in time.
I know emotions play a big part in this and people are having very visceral reactions on the losing side. The best thing that can be done is leave us to go through our grieving process and we will eventually come around. I detest Barack Obama as a Presidential Candidate for many reasons. He illicits the physical response I get when I listen to George Bush... That said, I detested John Kerry as well and I voted for him... A lot of good that did.
The Obama supporters act like this was a landslide victory. It wasn't and you know it. They were basically tied and he squeaked by with an aggressive, though ingenious, caucus strategy. We lost the game in the 9th inning with some bad calls from the umpires.
So I ask my friends on the other side of the fence here to put yourself in our shoes. Imagine your man lost and we were rubbing it in your face. Just give me time to move through the stages and I will think about taking your hand. I hope you supporters are right about this guy. I'm still waiting to become intoxicated on the Hopium. If the unthinkable happens and we have Great Grandpa for president. I will be coming by for a little chat...
Signed,
Hillary Supporter who is in mourning and annoyed, but will push the button for Sen. Obama in November... Even though I probably won't like it.
June 5, 2008 8:18 PM | Reply | Permalink