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After McCain's "The One" Video, Obama Endorsed by Holy Trinity
Newsflash: Obama Receives Endorsements from New Testament Figures.
In a video erroneously released by the McCain campaign, Moses was shown tacitly endorsing Senator Obama.
This action by the Old Testament Legend triggered endorsements by Giants of the New Testament. In a coordinated announcement, The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit also gave their blessings to Obama, also anointing Him as The One.
The Three glowed, providing a heavenly backdrop as a spokesangel read a prepared statement. "We join Moses in our endorsement of Barack Obama. While He was in the desert during his trip in the Middle East, we put the Senator to the test three times and He passed with flying colors."
The McCain campaign, in an attempt at damage control, questioned the actual number of endorsements received by Obama.
"Obama is claiming three new endorsements, but in acuality, he only received one," said McCain Campaign Manager Rick Davis, "Obama is playing the Trinity Card, and sadly, he's dealing from the bottom of the deck."
An unidentified high ranking official, speaking on the condition of anonymity, disclosed that the McCain camp is desperately trying to find Biblical figures to endorse their candidate. "Holding hands with the Dalai Lama [as seen midway through this video] is not enough. McCain suggested Allah, but, as Joe Lieberman reminded him, the God of Islam is not in the Bible. We're trying to land Joseph and Mary, but securing Jesus' parents won't be easy."
In a video erroneously released by the McCain campaign, Moses was shown tacitly endorsing Senator Obama.
This action by the Old Testament Legend triggered endorsements by Giants of the New Testament. In a coordinated announcement, The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit also gave their blessings to Obama, also anointing Him as The One.
The Three glowed, providing a heavenly backdrop as a spokesangel read a prepared statement. "We join Moses in our endorsement of Barack Obama. While He was in the desert during his trip in the Middle East, we put the Senator to the test three times and He passed with flying colors."
The McCain campaign, in an attempt at damage control, questioned the actual number of endorsements received by Obama.
"Obama is claiming three new endorsements, but in acuality, he only received one," said McCain Campaign Manager Rick Davis, "Obama is playing the Trinity Card, and sadly, he's dealing from the bottom of the deck."
An unidentified high ranking official, speaking on the condition of anonymity, disclosed that the McCain camp is desperately trying to find Biblical figures to endorse their candidate. "Holding hands with the Dalai Lama [as seen midway through this video] is not enough. McCain suggested Allah, but, as Joe Lieberman reminded him, the God of Islam is not in the Bible. We're trying to land Joseph and Mary, but securing Jesus' parents won't be easy."
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Remember, the kids are telling their parents how to vote in this election. Joseph and Mary are a lock for Obama.
August 1, 2008 8:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well, from what I've read, Jesus had a revolutionary streak in him, so it wouldn't surprise me is he is supporting Obama just to spite the folks.
August 1, 2008 8:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
O I think it's a very safe bet to bet that Jesus would vote for Obama over McLame.
Since we each have our Own Personal Jesus, mine is voting for Obama -
:)
August 2, 2008 10:28 AM | Reply | Permalink
Mine is with yours. Do you think that there is a Personal Jesus out there that would vote for McCain?
Maybe this PJ would have such a large amount of compassion for McCain's shortcomings that PJ would pull the lever for the all-too-mortal Republican.
August 2, 2008 11:04 AM | Reply | Permalink
As much as I adore Barack Obama, I think he IS playing the Trinity card. Although it may be from the center of the deck. The three of them, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, should only count for one endorsement.I think he needs to do a quick flip flop here, or all the Roman Catholics will try to swift boat him on this one.
August 2, 2008 11:36 AM | Reply | Permalink
I'm not sure he'll be swift boated on this one. We Catholics are also confused about this Trinity issue. Wikipedia does not provide much clarification on this issue either.
However, whether three separate endorsements or one that is triply powerful, where is the flip flop to which you refer?
August 2, 2008 1:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
Addendum. I just received this newsflash:
Obama and McCain Camp Settles Trinity Dispute
Seeking to avert a public dispute over the Trinity card, the Obama and McCain camps compromised and and agreed to split the difference.
Speaking for the Obama campaign, David Axlerod said, "We know that there is some question about whether the endorsements totalled three or one. Saying we received one and one half endorsements is a fair compromise."
"This is consistent with Senator Obama's belief in bringing a new politics to Washington. As Obama said, in reference to offshore drilling At some point people are going to have make some decisions - are we going to keep on arguing, or are we going to get some things done?"
Rick Davis responded on behalf of John McCain. "We are happy to reach this compromise with Barack Obama, the African American candidate for President. There has been some tension between our camp and that of the Black Democratic nominee for a few days, and we think that it is time to stop the acrimony and focus on the substantive policy differences between John McCain and our non-White opponent."
Some who were concerned that the Trinity would be upset and angry over the deal brokered between the candidates were pleased by the statement made by their spokesAngel: "We're not upset at all. We forgive them. We forgive everyone."
August 2, 2008 1:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
This is priceless. Thanks for the laugh!
August 2, 2008 5:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
Delphi spoke and said "The Times, They Are A'Changin"'. Buddha let on he might do the bodhisattva thing and vote this time. Shiva is salivating at overturning the fat cats.
Muhammed is holding out for VP.
August 2, 2008 11:40 AM | Reply | Permalink
I'm voting for the old white guy...McCain. Barry and Michelle are the two pictured on the New Yorker. Anti-American socialists.
August 2, 2008 12:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
Did he count the powerful endorsement by Ludacris? And will it be part of his next commercial?
August 2, 2008 1:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
Don't worry. If by "he", you mean McCain, I'm sure his camp is coming up with the next scary ad as we speak. And it will feature rappers.
Looking at your avatar, I think that Obama needs to apologize for lying to folks. Obama does resemble the Prez on the five-spot.
August 2, 2008 1:28 PM | Reply | Permalink