[INSERT NAME HERE] is the ABSOLUTE WRONG CHOICE
In an effort to streamline the TPM whining process, here is a form letter you can use draft your complaints about [INSERT NAME HERE], the new Democratic nominee for the Vice Presidency.
(Please select all that apply.)
[INSERT NAME HERE] is the absolute wrong choice because he/she...
[ ] Is an establishment candidate which doesn't help Obama's outsider cred
[ ] Doesn't have any experience, which is obama's weakness
[ ] Is from the wrong state
[ ] No minority representation
[ ] Won't capture the white male vote
[ ] Voted for the war
[ ] Voted against the war
[ ] Voted for FISA
[ ] Voted against FISA
[ ] Is an affront to Hillary Clinton supporters
[ ] Is an affront to the Netroots
[ ] Does not have enough foreign policy experience
[ ] Does not have enough executive experience
[ ] Is an empty suit
[ ] Is not mean enough
[ ] Is too boring
[ ] Is too interesting and will compete with Obama
[ ] Is too attractive and will compete with Michelle
[ ] Epitomizes all of the above
[ ] is Evan Bayh
:) Rec'd.
August 18, 2008 7:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
The best choice for Obama is Obama. The only option to reflect that is via a group rejection of everyone else. Please revise and resubmit.
:-)
:-)
August 18, 2008 7:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
[Obama] is the absolute wrong choice because he/she...
[ ] Is an establishment candidate which doesn't help Obama's outsider cred
[X] Doesn't have any experience, which is obama's weakness
[X] Is from the wrong state
[ ] No minority representation
[X] Won't capture the white male vote
[ ] Voted for the war
[ ] Voted against the war
[X] Voted for FISA
[ ] Voted against FISA
[X] Is an affront to Hillary Clinton supporters
[ ] Is an affront to the Netroots
[X] Does not have enough foreign policy experience
[X] Does not have enough executive experience
[X] Is an empty suit
[X] Is not mean enough
[ ] Is too boring
[X] Is too interesting and will compete with Obama
[X] Is too attractive and will compete with Michelle
[ ] Epitomizes all of the above
August 19, 2008 11:05 AM | Reply | Permalink
You forgot "Is too boring."
August 19, 2008 1:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
LOL. Great post.
August 18, 2008 8:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
[x] is not named Hillary Clinton :) Great post Paige!
August 18, 2008 8:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
That was awesome. Thanks for that. Haha! ;)
August 18, 2008 11:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
( ) Is a Republican
( ) Is anti-choice
( ) Is an elitist
August 19, 2008 10:40 AM | Reply | Permalink
Paris Hilton:
[X] Doesn't have any experience, which is obama's weakness
[X] Is from the wrong state
[X] No minority representation
[ ] Won't capture the white male vote
[ ] Voted for the war
[ ] Voted against the war
[ ] Voted for FISA
[ ] Voted against FISA
[X] Is an affront to Hillary Clinton supporters
[X] Is an affront to the Netroots
[X] Does not have enough foreign policy experience
[X] Does not have enough executive experience
[X] Is an empty suit
[ ] Is not mean enough
[ ] Is too boring
[X] Is too interesting and will compete with Obama
[X] Is too attractive and will compete with Michelle
[ ] Epitomizes all of the above
August 19, 2008 11:01 AM | Reply | Permalink
[Dick Cheney] is the absolute wrong choice because he/she...
[X] Is an establishment candidate which doesn't help Obama's outsider cred
[ ] Doesn't have any experience, which is obama's weakness
[X] Is from the wrong state
[X] No minority representation
[ ] Won't capture the white male vote
[X] Voted for the war
[ ] Voted against the war
[X] Voted for FISA
[ ] Voted against FISA
[X] Is an affront to Hillary Clinton supporters
[X] Is an affront to the Netroots
[ ] Does not have enough foreign policy experience
[ ] Does not have enough executive experience
[ ] Is an empty suit
[ ] Is not mean enough
[ ] Is too boring
[ ] Is too interesting and will compete with Obama
[X] Is too attractive and will compete with Michelle
[ ] Epitomizes all of the above
August 19, 2008 11:03 AM | Reply | Permalink
Ewww. I am REALLY perturbed by the fact that you checked off too attractive for Cheney. I never figured you to go for the Dark Lord of the Sith type, but to each his own :)
August 19, 2008 1:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
There are a few Democrats in Congress and the Senate who represent change, and a great many who represent the status quo. If Obama is truly about change (which he isn't)l he would pick one of the former. How hard is that?
August 19, 2008 12:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
All of the above.
August 19, 2008 1:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
Nice post! I needed the levity after a long day of reading the news and being p.o.'d about just about everything.
August 19, 2008 4:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Now, here's the trick, can you name anyone for whom it's possible to check ALL the boxes?
August 19, 2008 4:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
[Genghis] is the absolute wrong choice because he/she...
[x] Is an establishment candidate which doesn't help Obama's outsider cred
[X] Doesn't have any experience, which is obama's weakness
[X] Is from the wrong state
[>] No minority representation [That's half an X]
[ ] Won't capture the white male vote
[X] Voted for the war
[X] Voted against the war
[X] Voted for FISA
[X] Voted against FISA
[XX] Is an affront to Hillary Clinton supporters
[XXX] Is an affront to the Netroots
[ ] Does not have enough foreign policy experience
[X] Does not have enough executive experience
[XXX!!] Is an empty suit
[☣] Is not mean enough
[☢] Is too boring
[ ] Is too interesting and will compete with Obama
[☯] Is too attractive and will compete with Michelle
[!!!] Epitomizes all of the above
August 19, 2008 4:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Fortunately, Obama has better sense. I cannot confirm nor deny anything, but let's just say that the netroots and hillary folks are going to be feeling very affronted tomorrow.
August 19, 2008 6:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
Heh. ;)
CalPaige, love the post!
August 19, 2008 5:10 PM | Reply | Permalink