Seeking to follow up on its successful "Celebrity" ad campaign, which portrayed Obama as shallow, overhyped celebrity who is out-of-touch with American values, McCain campaign manager Steve Schmidt today unveiled a new attack ad.

"We were getting excellent penetration with the Celebrity spot," Schmidt said, "so we thought we'd insert questions of Obama's character and leadership deeper into the voters' minds. After all, who is Barack Obama? I think the American people want to know."

A transcript of the hard-hitting 20-second spot, which is due to play in several mid-sized markets in the midwest, follows:

Fade in on shot of the globe.

"He promises to bring a new kind of politics to America," a deep voice intones, "but what do we really know about Barack Obama?"

Cut to a suburban patio cafe. An attractive young woman in a white T-shirt, holding an Obama sign says, "I don't know exactly what he plans to do about Iraq, but he seems like thoughtful leader."

THOUGHTFUL appears in grainy distressed font appear over the freeze-framed, inverse image of the Obama girl.

Jump-cut to another street scene. An Obama supporter, a dreadlocked man in his mid-20s, pushing a baby carriage with Barack Obama bumper stickers on it, speaks to camera.

"I like him," the young man says to the camera, "even though we've never met I think he would be cool to hang out with.... he's interesting."

A cut, we are now seeing the same image but through the green-filter of a sniper scope. The camera zooms toward the young man like a missile with a camera on it. The baby screams.

Cut to a shot of a city block exploding. Quick fade to black.

Voiceover intones, "Do we really want to bet our children's lives on thoughtful, interesting elitist celebrities like Barack Obama?"

Patriotic music swells. A montage of terrorists, windmills, motorcycles, and smiling grandmothers. A wide open prairie, amber waves of grain, a shot of Ronald Reagan, an oil rig, an American flag.

Over this montage the voice continues, "John McCain understands you. He served his country, and knows that life for real Americans is a slow motion tragedy of soul-sucking compromise and unspoken desperation. He knows what it's like to bust your hump for twenty years at a job you hate because it's the only way to claw your way up through the ratpile till you get your chance at the big brass ring, just to get punked by some smartass overgrown teenager because his daddy still controls the board of directors.

"And then to have to kiss his bony ass for eight years, and to endure public huggings and birthday cakes that you'd rather cram down his fucking throat."

"So maybe John McCain is an asshole, and a stubborn one at that, but he's proud of it, because being an asshole is the American way.  And being a stubborn, cantankerous, fickle mercenary is the only way to get to where John McCain is, with a net-worth more than a hundred of you bitches put together and a wife half his age.

Not by being interesting, and for fuck's sake not by being thoughtful."

Fade in to a backlit, haloed John McCain, with a lush green-screen behind him.

"I'm John McCain, and I approve this message."