Friends in Christ Jesus.   I've received many emails recently from lost souls attempting to understand the truths of the bible.  Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind it when ignorant atheist fools try to trip me up on questions they feel can't be answered.   They don't know I've got a secret weapon that answers any question they could possibly ever come up with.  Of course - it's the bible.

Yes friends, these ignorant fools will someday get theirs when they are cast into the lake of fire along with the tens of billions of other dead non believers (a sorry to those of you who died before Jesus blessed us with his presence a few millenia ago - you're still burning in the eternal fire of hell and will only be released once the King of Kings defeats the Antichrist in the final battle).  

Now there are some pantiwastes among you who say "hey -- it isn't fair that everyone who was born before Jesus is burning in the lake of fire, their skin constantly being burned off as if napalm had been poured on them, only to have it miraculously grow back on, only to have more napalm burn it off again".  I say let that be a lesson to you, believe in Christ Jesus and you will be saved.  Just because your grandmother is currently roasting in Hell doesn't mean you have to join her.

Now - there are some who say that Jesus descended into Hell and delivered those who had lived their lives strictly according to Jewish law were able to ascend into heaven after Jesus did.  Unfortunately - have you READ Jewish law?  I don't think many people really did everything the bible said you had to do.  I mean - maybe one, two at the most.  But hey, it's not called a law for nothing.  And just because the Jewish people didn't have a real concept of hell and burning and eternal scorching pain in their religious texts, doesn't mean that they aren't suffering in eternal hellfire now.   After all - I repeat my bullet proof argument - If it's in the bible - it's true.  So I don't want to hear you whining about it all you jews burning in hell.   Screaming - that's fine.  Just don't whine.  it bothers me.

Obviously - all of the other religions that have ever existed on earth that are not Christians are also sharing in the eternal torture and pain that is the lake of fire.  You may think the following comparison is unfair.  An asian man who lived a few thousand years ago and lived a life of peace and love and baby rabbits and loved his wife and kids, helped his neighbors, fed the poor, gave his wealth to charity, etc. has been burning every minute of every day for over 2000 years, constant thirst but unable to drink, hot lava being poured over his skin until his bones catch on fire, only to have the whole process start over again over and over, hundreds of times per day.  (Also - don't think you get used to it like you do when taking a hot bath - if I know God - and I do - I know he's made those nerve endings especially painful and probably makes them get just a bit more sensitive with each bath of hot burning fire lava).  He never heard of Christ.   But a man born 20 years ago has spent every minute of every day thinking of murdering children and raping them and using their entrails as clothing and food and toys for his cats, which he also kills.  He is finally arrested with the corpses of 20 children that he's using as a makeshift bed.  He's sentenced to death - and on his final day on this earth, he has an honest (i repeat - honest - God would know the difference) change of heart. He accepts Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior.  He asks for forgiveness for his sins, and of course, he's forgiven.  He then gets to spend eternity in Heaven with Jesus and the Millions of Christians who honestly accepted Jesus into their lives.   Unfortunately - most of the children he killed hadn't been baptised and / or accepted Jesus as their savior - so they are standing next to the asian man, a constant flow of lava torturing them for all of eternity.   You may not think it's fair - but again - if you would just read your bible - you will see it's obviously true.
So when you liberal pussies get all up in our grill about "torture" at Guantanamo - I just laugh and laugh and laugh.  Are you kidding - you haven't even begun to be tortured.  Just get ready for what our merciful God has in store for you.   Get ready to literally burn in hell.
Praise Jesus!!!