Here are a few unranked diplomatic threats Condi might consider:

- send yakov smirnoff back (he's ukrainian though, but whatever)
- destroy the US economy causing worldwide recession and making US debt held by Russia worthless
- give them 'the silent treatment'
- revoke Putin's membership in the official 'Power Puff Girls' fanclub.
- pretend to have a really good time with the EU so that Russia gets jealous
- send bill collectors to collect all the fines for Russia's Diplomat's traffic tickets (harsh)
- sign them up for a whole bunch of spam mail
- sign them up with the axis of evil cheese of the month club
- introduce a resolution before the UN to declare Russia to be 'complete ultra dorkwads'
- allow Iran into NATO and the EU if they will be our friends and stop hanging out with those Russian dorkwads.
- leave hundreds of messages on the Kremlin answering machine about how completely over Russia the US is and how the US completely doesn't care what Russia is doing anymore
- not invite Russia to Condi's slumber party on friday (everyone who is cool will be there! and there's going to be pizza and movies and later a game of truth or dare, and then everyone will practice french kissing on each other).
- put up a sign on the G6 clubhouse that says 'No Russias allowed'

Let's just hope that this doesn't escalate into a full out cat-fight after school in the school parking lot. (Rumor has it that Russia keeps a knife under the front seat of their Geo Metro).