Date:  August 29, 2008
To:  Senator John McCain
From:  sales@sp64.com
Subject:  Model SP-64

Congratulations!  You are now the proud owner of the world's most technologically-advanced female robot, Model SP-64.  I know you will be pleased with her performance.  However, if for any reason she should malfunction in any way, please don't hesitate to contact our customer service representatives at service@sp64.com.

Date:  September 4, 2008
To:  sales@sp64.com
From:  Cindy McCain on behalf of John McCain
Subject:  Re:Model SP-64

My friends, I am indeed very pleased with the SP-64's performance.  The oratory skills and overall appearance exceeded my expectations.  Acceptance Speech mode works perfectly, with no deviations, no matter how often I play it.  I look forward to the upload of the model's talking points and feel assured that the process will go smoothly.  Thank you and may God bless you,

John McCain

Date:  September 24, 2008
To:  service@sp64.com
From:  Cindy McCain on behalf of John McCain
Subject:  Model SP-64 -- ASSISTANCE REQUIRED!!  NOW, DAMMIT!!
Sent with high importance

What the hell is wrong with this piece of crap robot you sold me??  The upload went completely wrong and now the [expletive] thing spouts out nothing but goddamned worthless crap!  It's like her wires got crossed or something.  You ask her a question and all these words start pouring out of her mouth and try as you might, you can't string any of them together to form one grammatically correct or freaking meaningful sentence!!  It started on September 12, during an interview.  That's when I first saw hints of a malfunction.  Certain statements would be duplicated, by mistake.  Like a skip in an LP record.  Ever since then, it's just been getting worse.  WTF is wrong with this thing?  I want a respone NOW!

Date:  September 24, 2008
To:  Senator John McCain
From:  service@sp64.com
Subject:  Re:Model SP-64 -- ASSISTANCE REQUIRED!!  NOW, DAMMIT!!
Attachment:  SP64_Instruction_Guide.pdf (10k)

Please accept our sincere apologies for the inconvenience.  It appears your Model SP-64 needs to be reset, and you will need to upload the files to her memory again.

Please refer to our instruction guide, attached.

Date:  September 24, 2008
To:  service@sp64.com
From:  Cindy McCain on behalf of John McCain
Subject:  Re:Re:Model SP-64 -- ASSISTANCE REQUIRED!!  NOW, DAMMIT!!

We don't know how to open the attachment.  Please advise.