In a telling sign that the McCain campaign's recent attacks on the character of Barack Obama and the overall 'terrorization' of the democratic nominee is working to plan, McCain himself was attacked for admitting that he had consorted with the presidential hopeful.

During an evening rally last night McCain began touting his bi-partisanship and recalled a time when he "reached across the aisle" to collaborate with his rival Barack Obama. But before McCain could finish his tale of Washington done right, his stage was rushed by a large group of overweight blond women and white men shouting such epitaphs as terrorist-sympathizer, traitor, Muslim, Arab, and ni**** lover. Even Cindy McCain was seen kicking her husband in the gut with a $5,000 stiletto.

Once McCain's secret service finally wrestled away the bulk of the assailants and after a few harrowing minutes between McCain and his personal defibrillator, the republican nominee was able to compose himself enough to thank the crowd for putting country first, while at the same time rebuke them for woefully misplacing their hate. "My friends, I am just like you," McCain insisted while bending down, rolling up his sleeve and holding his forearm in parallel to the unconscious blond mulletted man cluttering the stage. "I am of the same skin -um...I am fundamentally the same as you. The enemy is the other one," he continued, "I am just a Joe-the-six-pack like you," he insisted while pointing behind him at the life-sized card-board cutout of a smiling, winking McCain holding a six-pack in one hand and making the thumbs up sign with the other. The crowd grumbled somewhat reassuredly, most likely not completely convinced because in the cut-out McCain was holding a six-back of Tsingtao.

After the rally, during a brief news conference, McCain derided his rival: "If Barack Obama would have simply agreed to the 536 town-hall meetings I suggested, all of this uglyness could have been avoided."