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Poetry Off!


Choose you own form.  Free verse, nursury rhyme parodies, limericks, and haikus are all acceptable.

Winner gets... um.... a prize TBD by me.

Here's a sample to get you started:
Scary Sary quite contrary... how does your garden grow? With flirty winks and empty blinks and screaming idjits, all in a row! 

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John and Sarah went some where
to fetch a pail of slime...
John stepped in the ugly muck
and Sarah rolled in the grime

There once was a man from the navy,
Who married an heiress for the gravy.
The press thought him upright,
'Til the race wasn't tight.
But now they all realize he's crazy.

Sarah Palin is the name
of the ditzy dame
who winks and slinks
but seldom thinks


One way
or another
I'm gonna win this
I'm gonna, betcha betcha betcha betcha
One way
or another
I'll be yer President
I'll betcha, I'll betcha!!!

One lie
then another
I'm gonna win this
I'm gonna, betcha betcha betcha betcha
Lipstick
on a pit bull
I'll be yer President
I'll betcha, I'll betcha!!!

And if McCain bites the dust
I'll follow Todd whom I trust
It's White House or bust.....

(Sorry, Blondie)

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Yours is my favorite so far Lis. I am humming along your lyrics and Blondie's music in my head. he he :)

Oh speaking of popular songs with new political lyrics, you guys have to check out this one. Old Blue Eyes would be so proud.

The Lady is A Sham

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I'm Johnny the Sailorman,
My campaign's a garbage can,
My VP is Sarah,
And she is a terror,
I'm Johnny the Sailorman

I'm Johnny the Sailorman,
I don't really have a plan,
Obama's a black mon,
So don't vote for that one,
I'm Johnny the Sailorman

Love. It.

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Sarah Palin
Palin Palin
Po po Palin
Moose killer

Burma Shave

ARGH!

ME POEM IS ENTITLED:

"JUST BECAUSE PALIN IS A WENCH DOESN'T MEAN ME HEART GOES FOR HER BECAUSE ME STILL HAVE HOTS FOR WENCH HILLARY SO BOO HISS MCCAIN"

MEDICAL RECORDS
SHOW BIG JOHN AILIN'

GOES WITH YOUTH
VP IS PALIN

INITIALLY SCORES
BUT STILL IS TRAILIN'

RIGHT WING PUNDITS
NOW GO BAILIN'

GOES NEGATIVE
CAMPAIGN IS FLAILIN'

AVOIDS REAL ISSUES
THERE'S NO THIRD-RAILIN'

REPUBS ARE STUNNED
FOX NEWS IS WAILIN'

LINKS TO AYERS?
THOSE ADS ARE FAILIN'

TRIES ALL TRICKS
BARACK IS SAILIN'

SEARCH FOR STRATEGY
IS HOLY GRAILIN'

WAY TO WIN?
FIX VOTES FOR MAIL-IN.

ACQUIRE! MERGE! MARAUD! DILUTE! DILUTE!

ARGH!

PEET!!!

Glad I am to see
your heart is still Hillary's
Acquire! Merge! Maraud!

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A classic Peet.

It was that last "maraud" that got me.

hope grows wildy, now
bursting, ready to bloom. forever,
these twenty five days

what new world awaits
the other side of that day?
all we know - it's change

a man once stood
told us of his dream. i think
we're in his dream now

Beautiful.

Michelle Obama
speaks to Women for Change and
does not diss McCain

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Michelle Obama is both lovely and down-to-earth practical.

Lovely and intelligent. As much a pleasure to hear speak as is Obama.

Michelle is already running for future political office a la Hillary Clinton.

Wait and see. The Obama's are about to try to establish a dynasty. However, they now have the Clinton sage to study to avoid it's pitfalls.

McCain Strategy Haiku

August

Lieberman is out
Pawlenty's far too boring
But Palin's pretty

September

We did not know she
Couldn't complete a sentence
At least stocks are up

October

With Georgia in play,
West Virginia a toss up,
Remind them he's black

November

Concession call to
Mr. President Elect
Barack Obama

This is MY fave!

Wow! Wonderful efforts by all!

I know. It's amazing isn't it? Some of them are almost as good as....

*** SMACK!!!!! OMG!! QUINN GOT HER WITH ANOTHER PIE! ***

I am SOOOOO winning this game.

Sing a song of Sarah
A pocketful of lies
four and twenty untruths
half-baked stinking pies

On November fourth
the voters shall all say
Betcha thought you fooled us
But no votes for jerks today

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Old soldier,
Maverick no more,
Fades away.

"he's a decent man"
mac tried to say, but too late
cows out of the barn

the october winds
have blown the leaves from the trees
revealing the truth

palin denials
but troopergate verdict shows
first hunk was a skunk

she yearns to be veep
her actions in alaska
will end her career

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The old Navy pilot and septuagenarian
Senator fumed, in a funk
For his party had vetoed his VP pick, Joe
And the rest of the candidates stunk.
“What to do?” he cried out
With a quavering shout
“Mr. Rove says I need a slam-dunk!”

So he squinted, and pondered, and paced to and fro
Thinking, “Who might appeal to the rubes?”
And then, in a flash, the thought came through at last:
“Hey I know – I’ll distract them with boobs!”
Lovely Sarah said, “Yes!”
“I have that readiness!”
And his campaign went straight down the tubes.

There once was a time when we cared,
Not simply because we were scared.
A time it was true -
You are what you do,
Proven by all that was dared.

There once was a time we believed,
Not simply because we conceived.
A world such as ours -
With tantamount powers,
Could never with justice deceive.

There once was a time with a glance,
Not simply due pure happenstance.
We spoke with one voice -
And echoed our choice,
Barak Obama's our chance.

yubba yubba glorp. dinosaur paw, severed on my chest. chest above my back, back face down in the box. white haird POLICY MAAAAAN. feel no pain. feel no. snow. new southwest wind, desert dried up, fruit fallen, pain callin. don't pick up the phone. yubba yubba. pass me them pills. whoop whoop whoop, snap goes the gun. final score ferals -1. feraler +1. 1st. country.

last country. glorp.

Amen.

This one your fave so far, quinniac?

Naw, I just left off the Amen in the original. Some trouble with the tubes. (Thus the yubba yubba glorp.)

Though it Is fitting. Somehow.

My vote still goes to the marauder.

Howdy. My poem is about the inadvisability of conducting government business on Yahoo accounts. I put it into a YouTube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPi17bX_4Ec

Good news, folks! I've decided on a prize!

The winner will receive a $25 campaign donation to the House candidate of their choice! (I reserve veto power, so just don't pick an asshat.)

However, I'm having trouble picking a favorite. You guys are just too damned clever. So cast your votes, here, please!

I can't decide between LateBreakingMuse and barefooted.

Me neither.

So I pick me.

Don't worry though, I'll reach out across the aisle.

The winner should at least read well when spoken aloud.

PS Nice idea, CAPaige...good to see you blog again.

These poems are wonderful!

Check out "The American Center for Sarah Palin Inspirational Limericks"

http://www.sarahpalinlimericks.blogspot.com

It's "Maverick Versification for one Heckuva Nation."

I'll include one from the site for good measure:

Enough of the journalism of gotcha:
inflation umbrellas, Troopergate, Russia.
Interviews won't be needed,
terrorists will be defeated
by two simple words: you betcha.

W.H. Auden was wrong. Poetry *can* make things happen.

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Babblin' Betty Boop;
"Bomb, bomb, bomb / bomb, bomb Iran!"
Palin and McCain.

Stuck in Vietnam;
McCain stuck in Iraq, too:
Wars that never end.

Our troops held hostage:
McCain says they'll have honor
Some day -- if they "win"

Personally, I'd say LateBreakingMuse wins so far.

It was a close race, but after conferring with numerous poetry afficianados, the clear winner is:

Late Breaking Muse!

Now, will someone please find 'Muse on a post somewhere and tell him/her to come back her and claim the prize?

As a reminder, this is the prize:


The winner will receive a $25 campaign donation to the House candidate of their choice! (I reserve veto power, so just don't pick an asshat.)

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CaliforniaPaige

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