Hello, I'm calling on behalf of Barack Obama. I am calling to let you know that John McCain failed his driver's license renewal test, and furthermore, John McCain failed his road-driving test.  John McCain turns right, when he should turn left, and he drives on the wrong side of the road.   John McCain will drive America further into the ditch.

Tina Fey.........

Help Senator Obama put his foot on the gas pedal in the closing days of the campaign. Any ideas out there for an Obama 3AM ad concerning the erratic McCain?   It's 3AM and somewhere there is a  crisis......ring.......ring.......ring......ring.....

1. Emphasize that he will cut taxes for middle-class professional golfers such as "Joe the Golfer" Durant (currently 137th of 262 with $585,000);

2. Financially support our troops in combat, and care for our veterans by cutting taxes on the wealthy and corporations;

3. Stop associating anyone who may have been associated with a domestic terror group even if the are a member of the U.S. Senate.

Does this make you happy Sarah Palin?

I've noticed that several homeowners displaying McCain yard signage often display two signs instead of one. The quantity is not the issue in as much as location. Under closer review one sign is placed in the middle of the lawn, but the second sign is placed near the property boundary line. To the casual passerby it gives the appearance of back to back or consecutive houses displaying support for McCain. Furthermore, one of the homeowners displayed a McCain sign next to an acorn tree.

During my power walk, I stopped by a nearby small cemetery containing 200 or so markers. I asked by a show of hands how many thought McCain won the debate? After not seeing any responses, I asked the same question of Obama's performance. I was unable to make a final tally, as I was too busy running out of the cemetery.