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GRRRRLS NEED CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

October 22, 2008, 6:14PM

OMG!!!! i don't know what the big deal is about sarah spending lots of money on clothes! grrrrls like sarah and me need clothes b/c we totally have to look hot to be popular. like last year my EX-friend cara nut was running for homecoming queen but then she wore this totally slutty miniskirt with ripped fishnets and then everyone said she was a slut and she lost to jenny weiner who's like a total cow. and then no one was friends with her anymore and she was like in social siberia (that's where governor putin lives next to alaska, i looked it up!!!!!). when i run for homecoming queen next year, i'm totally going to max out my credit cards b/c i have to win for my political career. i know i promised to cut up my credit cards when i did my live debate blogging and sarah said that we can't live outside our means or whatever because the country is depressed. but i'm not a hippocrit because that was before i remembered that i had to be the homecoming queen next year!

DO IT FOR SARAH!!!!!!!!

October 15, 2008, 12:32AM

HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!! so i'm gonna write something now that maybe u won't like but its REALLY IMPORTANT like the MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER except for prom AND for pursuing your dream of being a supermodel-political-commenter like tyra except not black unless u are black but i'm white!! soooooooo, u totally HAVE to help john mccain win tomorrow!! i know he's old and icky and he tells dad jokes and his face is kind of falling off a little bit but if he doesn't win then everybody says that he won't be the president!!!! and if he doesn't win the election then sarah probably won't be the vice president and i can't take ANOTHER 4 YEARS WITHOUT SARAH!! i might even have to move to alaska for college, and i know it's cool b/c sarah is the governor and everything and there's like 5000 guys for every chick but it's WAY too EFFING COLD so u can't wear a miniskirt EVER even with your uggs and the governor of russia's head is like right next to it and that's WAY TOO SCARY FOR ME!!! OMG i think that i would totally die if i had to live there for real!!!!!!! but maybe if levi and bristol break up i might do it for levi even though he's gonna be a dad b/c when ur that hot its worth it even if he's a dad plus then sarah would totally be my mother-in-law sort of!!!!!!! and i know that sarah might try to ruin his career like she did with that other guy who got divorced with her sister but that guy was an asshole and when ur governor ur allowed to ruin people's careers if they're assholes. but i would make sure that everything was cool between levi and sarah b/c i totally do that with all my friends who hate each other.

ok. so remember how last time everyone totally did POSITIVE THINKING at sarah's debate and we helped her with the hard questions and thats how sarah won against the dude who looks like malfoy's dad? well that's totally what u have to do for john mccain so that he can win too. i know it totally sucks b/c everyone's brain is still tired from helping sarah. i cut my hard classes for like two weeks b/c my brain was completely fried worse than when i mixed X and peptobismol, but think about john mccain. he had to think superhard all year long and his brain is really, really old so it gets tired more than ours. pretend that ur old and u graduated from college 100 years ago but u have to go back to school to study economics but u totally just want to watch reruns on tv but u can't b/c then u don't get to be the president. i think i would die. that's why john knew that he had to pick sarah b/c she's totally the energizer bunny and whenever he's tired they just do a speech together and everyone who sees it is TOTALLY PSYCHED and its sort of like a pep rally except that u can yell about killing terrorists and arabs and stuff but u don't get sent to detention. my mom let me go to one and I TOTALLY SAW THE TOP OF SARAH'S HEAD and I almost fainted but then some guy next to me started screaming about how the acorns were giving everyone's houses to black people and he totally spit in my ear so i was like SAY IT DON'T SPRAY IT LOSER and then he called me a bitch and i would have kicked his balls but i think he was crazy b/c of all the shit about acorns so i pretended that i didn't hear him. it made me realize that there's like millions of crazy people in this country.

but anyway tomorrow john is all by himself even though sarah will watch and help him with positive energy thinking and so we have to help him too. first, everyone has to practice saying ahmadinejad - that's totally how u spell it, i googled it - b/c it's really hard to say and john isn't as good at saying it as sarah. so when he's trying to say it u have to think really hard how ur supposed to say it so that he doesn't eff it up like he did last time. and then if he gets a really hard question about the economy, u have to think the answer if you know it. and if you don't know you just have to think U CAN DO IT, U CAN DO IT, YES U CAN and john will hear u in his head and say the right answer. and if he gets mad u have to get mad too and shout at the tv but don't spit on it like the crazy acorn guy b/c thats totally GROSS. and if john says a joke u have to laugh really hard even if its not funny b/c he will hear u in his head. if i'm with a guy and he's not funny but if he's hot i can totally laugh like his jokes are the funniest evr but its harder with john mccain b/c he's like the NOT part of HOT OR NOT, but i will try for sarah. she's totally hot so when they're together its like they're HOT AND NOT. but if u totally can't think positive for john just think positive for sarah and she will channel ur energy to john. plus just remember, if john and sarah win then the only thing stopping her from being the president of the whole country is one really, really old guy.

anyway, i'm not going to live blog the debate this time b/c i'm not grounded this time and there's a really cool party. but i think some other guy on my blog is going to do it but he likes obama so much that he put obama's picture instead of him. i think he has a gay crush on him. SOOOOO GRRRROOOOOSSSS!!!

btw, if u haven't seen my SARAH PALIN TRIBUTE PAGE, u totally have to check it out. i put some new awesome videos on it and i have a new section for SARAH PALIN SONGS!!! YAY!!!!!

GOOOOOOOOOOOO SAAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

GOOOOOOOOOOO SARAH!!!!

October 1, 2008, 11:53PM

OMG!!!! RU excited for Sarah Palin's debate? I SOOOO AM!!!! GOOOOO SARAH!!! She's going to kick that Biden dude's WRINKLY OLD ASS!!! LOL!!! He totally looks like Drako Malfoy's evil dad in Harry Potter.

Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!! Too creepy!!! My grrrlfriend says that Malfoy's dad, I mean Joe Biden, is going to win the debate because he knows about other countries and stuff, but she is TOTALLY effed in the head. First of all, Sarah knows LOTS of countries. The president of Russia is her neighbor, so she knows him the best of anyone. And she also knows people in Canada and the north pole and all the other countries. So there!! Second of all, this is America and nobody here gives any shits about the other stupid countries anyway. Third of all, wait, I forgot third of all. Oh yeah, third of all knowing lots of stuff doesn't mean that you get to win. There was this really smart nerd in my school called Wally Lipschitz (LOL!!!!) and he ran for class president. But Kurt Hanson, who's like super hot and a quarterback and everything but he almost got held back for flunking all his classes even English 10 with Mr. Susskin who gives everybody A's even me, especially if you're all flirty with him. Anyway, Kurt ran too, and he got like 1000 votes, and Wally only got 3, and Miley Cyrus got 5 and she doesn't even go to our school. And then Wally got a whole bunch of guns and he was going to try to kill everyone, but the police got him, and now he's in juvi. So see, Sarah is like Kurt except that she only flunked in college a little bit and plus she's not a dude and knows how to be flirty. And Malfoy's dad is like Wally except that he's really old and not a psycho. Or maybe he is, and he's going shoot everybody when he loses, and Sarah will have to save everyone. It could happen.

So this is what you have to do. Every time Sarah says something really funny and cool, you have to write down 1 or 2 or 3 smileys likes this :):):):). Or as many as you want. And every time Sliden Biden says something like super knowitall and dickheadlike, you have to write down a whole bunch of mad frownies like this >:( >:( >:(. And at the end, Sarah will have like a thousand :) and evil Malfoy dad will have like a million >:( and that's how you'll know that she won. YAY!!!!!!!!! GO SARAH!!!!!!! :):):):) And after that, everyone will know that she totally rocks and she'll win the election and then she'll be the Vice President and after that the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, the COOLEST PRESIDENT EVVVVVVVVERRRRR!!!!!

So I was going to a KOOL party for the debate where everyone drinks whenever Sarah says "bridge to nowhere" (which she totally kicked the ASS of because why would anyone want to build a bridge that goes nowhere DUHHHHHH!!!!) but I got effing grounded because I got suspended when I kicked Corey Fuffenkeffer in the nuts for saying that Sarah's not experienced. But Sarah has five kids and Corey has never even gotten to second base with anyone so I think that she has more experience than he does. So guess what I'm going to do instead????? LIVE DEBATE BLOGGING YAY!!!!!!!!!!! It's going to be the COOLEST EVVVVVRRRR!!! Just come check out my blog for the debate and I will totally BLOG your pants off!!!!

Also, if you haven't seen my awesome Sarah Palin Tribute Page, you totally have to check it out. I found all her greatest youtube moments. I would have put them here, but I can't figure out how to do video. And I got Tina Fey pretending to be Sarah too. I LOVE YOU TOO TINA :):):) And did you know that Sarah has a VLOG? IT'S EFFING AWESOME!!!!! You have to watch it!!!!!!!!

GOOOOOOOOO SARAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

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GRRRRLS NEED CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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